the princess memorial

the weather today fits my mood…

…dreary, slow rain. forty degrees. supposed to sleet tonight. that’ll be a fitting end to the way the day started at 5:55am and discovered miss copper dead on the floor.

it’s weird – she had been “fine”. i put it in quotes because honestly she had been slowly declining – losing weight, losing muscle tone, and losing agility – but so it goes with age, i figured. she had a growth on her neck that due to location (right under the carotid artery and jugular) and a recently diagnosed heart murmur she was NOT cleared to be put under for surgery. that thing had grown dramatically in the last month or two. friday night she suddenly started to swell around her jawline (not sure what brought that about, be it the throat lump or the body check budnik did knocking her into the cabinets or the beniful food meal or…) and she started hawking a LOT of phlegm. i left for work at 2pm and she was fine. i got home at 1am and she was swollen and hacking. no clue what brought it about…she slept okay friday night but never ate…barely drank any water. saturday morning she was weak, but still getting herself around for the most part – the swelling was still there in her face and getting more noticeable. when i said good-bye for work, i honestly thought it was THE good-bye…

…but i got home and she was still with us, but resting – and worse for wear. the swelling in her jaw was BAD. she was not a happy girl. but she still could get up on her feet and move around…she was standing in the kitchen waiting to go out when i got home and made it most of the way around the yar, and later back to my room. when i said good-night to her i KNEW it would be the last…i woke up at 5:55am to discover i was right. she was dropped off at austin pet memorial today.

but enough of the sad shit…here are six happy memories:

1. she chose me – a crowded HEB parking lot, and she came up to me and followed be into the store. i came out and she was gone, but i couldn’t get her out of my head, so i went back and found her. i’m really happy i did.

2. she never let me go – from the first day, where she would howl and bark if she couldn’t see me (just because i had walked around the side to get her water) and last night she still followed me back into my room to hang while i watched a movie – budnik joined as well. it was a nice family night to “close her out”, as it were.

3. she had more personality than me – from the breakdancing (she did this weird back scratch / dance thing in the grass where i would ultimately stand over her yell, “go copper! go copper! go copper!”. i always felt it showed she was a happy dog) to the look on her face when i’d say stupid shit to the way she’d size up people that came over, the house feels like it lost a LOT more weight than just the fifty-some-odd pounds she tipped the scales at.

4. she was the original cock-blocker spaniel – she had a nasty habit of wedging herself, in bed or otherwise, between me and human girls. i do remember her sleeping with her head on the pillow next to me a bunch, though – at one point she even reached out to shut off the alarm.

5. she kept her destruction in check – buffi was the destructo-pup, cop was pretty good. the one thing she ruined? a big kid rock cd display that was loaded with cd’s at the time…chewed up a couple valuable one’s cases, but the one she actually destroyed the disc? the band “kittie” – damn, that little girl hated cats!

6. the lasts and firsts – she’s the last of the “fantastic four” as i used to call them (calum (1996-2008), buffi (1999-2010), lucky (2004-2010), copper (2001-2013)) and the last of the three that chose me in public places (calum at amy’s ice cream in the arboretum in 1996, lucky on the street in 2004, and copper at HEB in 2002) and left me with two “first time in a long time” scenarios:

1. first time i’ve had only ONE dog since 1996
2. first time the house has been a sausage fest since 1978

there’s always been a girl there, be it my mom, my sister, or a female dog (or two) the house has never been “all male” – until now. i’m curious how long we can last estrogen-free. i’m very glad the last thing miss copper ever heard me say was, “your daddy loves you very much miss copper” when i said good-night at about 1am or so. she will be missed more than words can express.