don’t worry – this isn’t a bit about me & the ufc’s upcoming anniversary…
…although that IS this thursday.
(the title now has her worried)
no, this was about an article i read recently.
before i go any further, i’d like to make a personal note here:
(why do i say that kind of shit? isn’t this whole site basically a “personal note” from me?)
i abohor rapists. i really do. in texas it is perfectly legal to use deadly force to prevent a sexual assault, even if it’s not on you. i think this is awesome. i didn’t lose my virginity until i was twenty-four. yes, you read that right – twenty-four. sad, huh? and i was a big, strapping guy with lots of hot female friends who didn’t mind getting drunk and flirty in front of me. i COULD have taken advantage of those situations. might not even have been “rape” in the technical sense. but it’s just not my nature to take advantage of such things…still isn’t. so men that DO “take it” kind of disgust me – so don’t take this bit as me condoing, endorsing, or making light of sexual assault, be it via a stranger or somebody you thought you could trust. be you male or female i encourage you to use your texas-given right to deadly force and kill the motherfucker that tries to force you to give up. fuck them – but not literally.
all that being said, sometimes the pendilum swings the other direction a bit TOO far. i witnessed this in college as the “new feminist” movement, where you would (literally) ask a girl what time it was and she would shout “no means NO!!!” and pepper spray you just ’cause you posed said question in a dark, quiet part of campus…with your pants down. what? my belt had broken – SO not my fault.
that movement upped the lesbian population more than historians realize.
moving on…
…i mention the pendelum thing because i have seen not one, not two, but THREE different female friends that have posted things on the facebooks about “signs your “date” might be a “date rapist”. i read them all – and they were all actually different. i don’t know if the holidays are “date rape season” or something, but there were quite a few on here that seem innocent to me – like shit I’D do, and i’m anything but a date rapist. shit, i’m not even on the market any more – but this just seems a bit over-reactionary to me. a few examples:
he tries to separate you from your group of friends at gatherings – as most date rapes take place in high school and college, i don’t see how this is bad. ever been around girls that age when they’re in packs? they’re fucking vicious – add to that the awkwardness you feel at that age? fuck talking to her with her peeps in tow!
he serves you an “open” (i.e. unsealed) drink – are you serious? have you ever been to a bar where they DON’T open your drink? ever handed a girl an unopen beer and gotten the, “…i just got my nails did” speech? again, who doesn’t do this.
he uses lots of sexual inuendos – there’s a certain age where males senses of humor is predominantly sexual innuendos…it’s called “college” (and high school as well)…so if he feels comfortable enough around you to crack the same jokes as when he’s around his buddies he MUST be a date rapist, right? bullshit.
he drinks excessively and gets loud and agressive – again, same thing as the “…sexual inuendos” thing; it’s called “college”.
tries to get you alone on a first date – isn’t that kind of what a first date IS? i wouldn’t count a group outing as a first date…it’s supposed to just be the two of you, right? or is everything the buddy system these days? that would kind of suck…
some of the “warning signs” made sense: “trust your gut”, “he gets posessive and jealous on the first date” (give a pass if he’s of latin descent), etc, etc – but the ones that made MY list? i think that’s all in the context…and most of them are just guys in that age bracket, not somebody that deserves to be in a database somewhere…