saving the planet – one cookie at a time

let’s face it – we all know what terrorism is…

…or do we?

they’re organized. they have an agenda. they put their needs, desires, and beliefs ahead of those of the american populace. they want our regular way of life to stop so that their needs and wants and desires can be met. they want us to feel uncomfortable going about our day to day existence to further their own cause. they want to see us squirm.

bastards.

and you know who that paragraph also defines?

the fucking girl scouts.

think about it – they’re organized and have an agenda…to fatten america up, one thin mint or caramel delight at a time all so they can go off to camp and get slim and trim. it’s a class war. it’s saying, “yeah, fat ass – eat up so you can try in vain to take a picture for your online dating profile that doesn’t show your un-lovely lady lumps and you can maybe score a free drink before going home to down a stuffed crust pizza all by your lonesome and bitch to your cats while we go to camp and exercise and get svelte enough to land doctors and shit…”.

this time of year we all go through it – you’re walking into the grocery store or the pharmacy or even the auto parts store where girls are rarely seen ‘cept on muffler calendars and all of a sudden WHAM – you’re accosted by the little bitches:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME COOKIES!?!?!?

you try to look down, to avoid eye contact, but they still get you and make you feel kind of uncomfortable. and no matter what you say (“no thanks”, “my daughter sells them, too”, “i buy from a lady at the office…” they still hit you up AGAIN as you walk out. unless you’re me, you’ve had enough, and you respond like this:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME COOKIES!?!?!?

no thanks – i don’t support terrorism…

they didn’t know what to say. i heard all the moms gasp in unison. they were still stunned several minutes later when i walked out of walgreen’s, and i heard all the moms say, “do NOT ask that man again!!!”.

i won.

try it some time…it’s kinda fun.