friday night fishing bit

don’t get too excited kramer…

…this is actually about dating and shit. sadly, i’m now addicted to catfish.

i swear, the things i do for you people.

i started this bit purely off some articles i’d read online about the show. i’ve had some positive and negative experiences with the online dating thing. several good people have been put in my life courtesy of online dating, be it directly or indirectly. ME, les, UFC, and even shane have come from this (the latter being “indirectly”, i will quickly add, as we were introduced by a girl i met online).

while not all my experiences have been positive, NONE of them have been as negative as some of the shit i’ve witnessed on the show. mine have all been the right gender, for example. and actually, mine have all used pictures of themselves. not a single model shot that turned out to be a psychopath who was boosting images off the web somewhere. my negatives can all be summed up pretty easily in eight words:

a fat chick can crop a pic, yo!

the catch you see:

catfish xs

the catch you get:

catfish11

but other than that little life lesson i’ve done okay – “amazing” fits the current (UFC) situation better than just “okay”. i had mentioned the “UFC” whore name stands for “Ultimate Fuckin’ Chick”? that should explain how i feel about the current…

…but these other folks? jeebus – i don’t know what they’re thinking. and some of this shit has dragged on for up to a decade with no meet, no skype, no actual visuals other than still pics online? what the fuck are they thinking? in the course of researching this bit i watched five or six episodes of the show (however many there have been so far; ironically most of them with the UFC, who i did meet online) and the documentary. shockingly most of these problems so far seem to not be with online dating sites, but rather with people they’ve met off facebook. it never occurred to me to go searching on facebook for ass – most of the people on my profile are literally friends or, at the very least, friends of friends, or customers, or shop folk, or other tattoo artists or whatever i admire. bands and shit. never once thought, “i need to get laid – let’s go trolling around facebook!”.

and apparently that’s for the best!

so, to ruin part of the documentary, i’ll explain where the name came form, paraphrasing the husband of the woman who started it all, unintentionally or not:

“they used to ship carp in these big tubs from alaska to china but by the time the fish would get to china their flesh would just be mush and almost useless because they just sat and didn’t move, but they found if they put catfish in the tubs it kept the carp moving and exercising and they’d arrive just fine; and my dad always told me some people are ‘catfish’ – they’re just thrown in the mix [your life] to keep it interesting and keep you guessing and on your toes…”

and there we go.