so, a mule fucks and elephant…or was that the other way around?

here’s one thing i learned in this election cycle…

…if you hate the candidate, you hate everything they’ve ever done. ever. period. they simply can do no right.

hell, times like this i hope the mayans are right.

when the big storm hit the east coast and obama went my friend said “shame on him exploiting people in their worst time just to score votes!”. but if mitt had done it the fb post probably would have been “see, even before he’s president he cares about americans in their time of need!”. like i said, if it ain’t your guy these days, they just can’t do shit right.

look, folks – our country’s in crisis here. to say it’s obama’s fault is bullshit. when you take over payments in a clunker of a car, it’s not your fault it’s a clunker. and while you might not be the master mechanic you’re made out to be on tv, as long as it’s not just sitting in the driveway with a tarp over it and a halo of tall grass around it you’re ahead of how most of us would handle that situation (see the malibu in my driveway for a visual aid here).

scream for his college transcripts. his birth certificate. his credit report. what’s the fucking point? in this, the year of the “pretend it didn’t exist” are we going for the ultimate and try to reverse a presidency? how would that work? i mean, texas (sadly) wrote thomas jefferson out of the history books (literally) so he’s no longer part of the curriculum because of his anti-christian stances. penn states championships now “don’t count” (did they give the nod to their opponent for every one of those years?). lance armstrong now didn’t win the tour de france – despite what we all SAW happen. they just gave it to the runner-up because they think lance was doping. so if the president’s birth certificate surfaces and he wasn’t born on american soil we ask mccane what he would have done and change shit accordingly? what exactly is the grand plan?

i think the bible-thumping irrational right going after barrack’s birth certificate is like a dog chasing a car – a bunch of noise and hype in the chase, but if they ever CAUGHT that motherfucker they wouldn’t know quite what to do. and i defy any of them to prove me wrong. so shut the fuck up about it already.

let’s face it – if hitler were to run for the presidency of the united states he’d have a fighting chance with most of the right because he’s white and NOT obama. except we all know he wasn’t born here, and that’s a biggie – hence no president ah-nuld campaign right now. yeah, i know you motherfuckers wanted it. shit, i might vote for that one just on the ridiculous factor coupled with his cigar habit – you know he’d make cubans legal again!

now on to mittens – the poster boy for all that is wrong and fucked about the economy and one of the biggest corporate rapists of smaller businesses the world has ever known. doubt me? google “bain capital” and let me know if you still wanna vote for this lying piece of shit. yeah, he’s rich as fuck – and that machine was greased with the blood of the workers he squashed to get there. hell, even the rockefellers and carnagies of days of old did a little charity. they also had opinions and had no problem saying them. if you didn’t like ’em, fuck you – they were rich, bitch! this guy will ask you your opinion and say, “yeah – that”. he’s run so far on the platform of “yeah, what you said!”.

mitfit ran massachusetts into the ground, now he’s shooting for all of us. sorry folks, but i think we’re better off with the devil we know here. and that ryan kid? shit, you thought palin was bad? i’ll take redneckcicle crazy over cold and calculated greed, intolerance, and ignorance any day. to give somebody like that the presidency of the senate (a lot of people forget that title goes along with the VP one) is the combo to “finish us” in the moral kombat sense of the phrase.

so get out there and vote today – and if we wake up tomorrow to the white house being “all white” again i pray that i’m wrong about how bad this might go, and will save my “i told you so” speech for one year from today. and again at two, and three provided it still fits, i still have enough money to have computer access, haven’t been imprisoned for speaking my beliefs, and don’t have to simulcast the post in mandarin as part of the government agreement for the chinese taking over our economy after the country was sold to them…all of which, i hope you realize, would be realistic possibilities at that point.