how can you NOT love the girl?

“all i want is a guy to fuck me in the ass and cum on my face…is that so wrong?!?”

FUCK NO, it’s not!

this was actually what my friend kimberly (i.e. “the porn star in training” once yelled – not “said”, but rather drunkenly SHOUTED in the middle of chacho’s on I-10 and callaghan in san antonio. that’s an hour from my place – so it was about an hour and a half later her request was filled.

well, more than just her REQUEST was filled. i’m nothing if not accommodating.

we’ve been “friends” ever since. okay, i put that in quotes and it shouldn’t be. we ARE friends – we just never see each other. people wander in and out of our life for various reasons, but time stays linear AND continuous. the clock never stops running. typically you don’t know exactly WHEN you last saw somebody unless it coincides with something shitty or spectacular. your wedding. the birth of your kid. somebody dies. shit like that.

there is NOTHING spectacular about april 3rd, 2004. but it is the last time i’ve seen kimberly as of this writing. hopefully that soon will change. we’ve recently started chatting again via facebook and text. kinda sad it’s been so long since we’ve talked considering we’ve both had the same phone number for quite some time (i’ve had mine since before she met me a decade or so ago, actually). the sign of a good friendship? we can pretty much pick up where we left off like no time’s passed at all.

doesn’t get any sweeter than that. record for that goes to tia, ’cause we picked up our friendship in the summer of 2010 after losing touch with each other back in 1996. then she flipped out and stopped talking to me saying our friendship could be detrimental to her marriage. i still don’t understand that, but what can you do? guess maybe we’ll pick shit back up in 2025 at our normal rate?

moving on…

…so the only reason i know the EXACT date of the kimberly exodus is ’cause of another chacho’s margarita night – this time the one in leon valley (or leon springs? i can never remember which it is). anywho, we went and they were SLAMMED. so slammed they had actually run OUT of their world famous frozen nuclear-strength margaritas. they had another batch in, but they were anything but frozen. they poured us two mugs anyway. for all those who don’t know, when there’s a frozen drink machine involved the ice that makes said beverage frozen is supposed to dilute the mix a bit and make it a smoother, less potent drink. so if you swig down the swill while it’s still sloppy (don’t you just love alliteration?!?) you end up guzzling a lot more booze to the ounce than the manufacturer intended.

three rounds of those and neither of us were any good to anybody…so we decided to make it a blockbuster night and i bought some used dvds, all of which i still have and one of which still has the receipt in it (i always keep that till i play ’em all the way through so i’m covered if i need to return them) and that’s where the record of the exact date comes from. since i woke up in her bed the next morning i just added one to the receipt and there we are.

now i just wonder when i get to reset that clock again…

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