humped on my car three times over (and none of ’em good)

sadly, this is all true stories…

…and i mean REAL true stories, not just the ones that end in “dude, true story” which was kramer’s little code for how i’d tell him when bits were complete and total bullshit without actually speaking to him. on the upside (just so i don’t seem perpetually on the “doom n’ gloom” kick here, albeit with halloween approaching and all) my car is relatively unscathed, with the exception of i previously mentioned, which kinda kicks this all off.

when that happened two things went through my head…

1. i gotta fix this ghetto looking shit quickly
2. i gotta catch the little faggots* that did this

*”faggots” referring to people who are particularly annoying and is not meant as a slur against homosexuals, unless of course it was homosexuals that actually vandalized my car, in which case it fits both categories…but i doubt that would happen. they tend to be good people.

my guy with the carbon fiber roundells (the term “roundell” refers to the round bmw symbol, for all curious) said via email that the vandalism “was total bullshit” (i agreed) and that he would get the new ones out to me that day. that also appears to be bullshit ’cause now that the postal service website has updated it shows he shipped ’em on TUESDAY and they just got sorted in south florida TODAY.

not fucking cool. so that’s once today.

on to the “catching…” part of it – the manager of walgreen’s transposed two digits of my phone number, which explains why i never heard from him, and i was parked one space out of range of their security cameras…so there will be no “catching” of shit, as there is no record of shit.

welcome to my world. that’s twice today.

third came in the form of $455 i gave my insurance company over the last year for no reason. aren’t i a sweetheart? the long and the short of it was when the camaro was paid off and i went to downgrade my insurance to just basic liability, they didn’t quite do that. what they did was remove comprehensive and collision from my current policy, effectively giving me basic liability insurance – but at almost double the cost. when i would mention what i paid to people, they all said it seemed a little high, but wrote it off as being due to it being a policy on a convertible sportscar. when i went to flip the policy to the bmw it went up, and they attributed it to it being a bmw.

than one day in the shower i had a moment of clarity – what i drive should have ZERO bearing on the price of a basic liability policy. a basic liability policy covers the people you HIT, not what you drive. you can drive a for festiva, you can drive a bugatti – whatever you hit is paid for, whatever you drive is NOT – er go, it should NOT effect your rate.

armed with this new revelation i called my insurance people and asked why i was getting charged more for the bmw. i got the “well, it IS a bmw” line and than i fired back my retort about what my policy does, and more importantly, does NOT cover. i was greeted by silence. than a “well, i suppose if you wanna drop down to a month to month policy it would only be about half the price…”

i checked – EXACT same coverage. same kind of policy. in fact, even though it was “month to month” they gave you a card that showed it was good for six months…it’s not like you had to go through the reapplication process EVERY month or something. in fact it all auto-drafts and everything just like the last one…for all the world it seems the only difference is the price. i asked why i had been paying double for the last year and got the last answer i expected or wanted to hear…

“i’m not sure…”

i was told to “call corporate” and given a number. i called. same silence followed by a “well, i’m not sure why that happened” followed by “no refund will be issued as you paid for coverage and recieved coverage”. when i asked “is there a difference between what i paid $78 a month for versus $43 a month, coverage-wise” and i was told “no”. but still no refund, they say.


so, i got the name and number of my regional manager – time to start shaking the tree…hard.