service with an…um…what the fuck?

you know, people keep saying the economy is improving…

…but i think that’s bullshit. you know how i measure it? i actually have three things i use for the formula:

1. retail – we already kinda covered this in a previous entry. retail folk are RUTHLESS these days. i’m gonna give it a three strikes rule going forward. when retail people ask “can i help you?” these will be the responses:

1st round – no thanks.
2nd round – no thanks.
3rd round – fuck off.

if we hit a fourth when they ask “can i help you?” they’re going to get a sigh, followed by a long, made up (or at least partially so) tearful rendition of what all has been wrong with my life since the age of twelve. that ought to fend off the rest of the retail herd nicely…

2. restaurants – i’m a fan of logan’s. most of the time when i go, my receipt has a survey number on it and if you go take the survey (takes two minutes – literally) you get a $3 off coupon, which can come in handy. i got stuffed on an appetizer platter the other day that, thanks to the coupon, was only five bucks – but on the survey it asks if a manager visited your table, which typically they don’t. this time they did, specifically asking me “how was that appetizer?”.

i said it was “appetizing”. we laughed.

but i noticed all of the staff seemed eager to please. almost TOO eager to please. and i’ve seen that several places. to me that says business is slow and they are JONESING for tip revenue.

tattoo shops – people don’t NEED tattoos (no, shane, not even you). people WANT tattoos. but when moneys tight, you tend to spend your money on what you NEED (your phone, your car, your house) and so much on what you WANT (booze, weed, tattoos, etc, etc). the luxury items tend to get lean. the fact that i keep talking to my friends in the tattoo industry and most (if not all) of them are hurting for cash says to me people just don’t have the cash to spend.

i knew this ship wouldn’t turn around over night, despite the boasting of candidates in the last election…but we’re getting close to the half-way point in this administration…where’s the light at the end of the tunnel here? i guess we can all get jobs in texas cleaning up the BP bullshit, huh?