corrupting my little town, six inches at a time

i gotta learn to prioritize…

…or stop stealing internet at the house. or maybe both. when i wanted to job search, i had internet. when i wanted to download music, i had internet. but when i finally settled on which of my proposed whore topics to do today, the connection went away.

and stayed away.

so now it’s almost thirteen hours after this SHOULD have posted, and i had to beat feet down to the library to use their internet connection so i could put this shit up.

the things i do for you people.

(and yes, i fucking said “you people”)

it’s almost 3:00pm and i’ve been up for almost twelve hours. why? not sure – could be a lot on my mind, too much guinness and tequila last night, or possibly a combination of both. but i woke up at 3am, fought getting up until 4:30am, resolved myself to the fact i wouldn’t win the battle, and went and hit the gym…then reversed it all with a couple breakfast tacos that came with several invites to come vote or judge or something the waitress costume contest at my local mexican food joint.

sue me, the little latinas tend to like me…

to counterbalance the grease and fat factor i decided to go to subway and eat fresh for lunch…sorta. the reason i say “sorta” is because when i go to subway i don’t get the sandwiches that annoying-ass jared advertises – i get one most people don’t notice on the menu that, when it debuted, was actually touted not by jerod, but rather by peter griffin of family guy.

the feast.

i get it on flat bread to keep the carbs down (which might note keep shit down, but it gives me the delusion thereof) and then let them pile on the dead flesh – pepperoni, salami, ham, turkey, and roast beef.

then i add bacon.

when the guy behind me watched them build this thing he was blown away with how much dead animal gets piled on – and even more shocked when i added bacon.

“why do you add bacon to THAT?!?”, he asked…

“’cause you know what’s better than a sandwich with five kinds of meat on it? a sandwich with SIX kinds of meat on it!”, i responded.

then it came time for him to order, and apparently he’s a regular ’cause they asked if he wanted his usual turkey on wheat footlong. he declined and instead ordered what i ordered, saying it was “more of a man’s sandwich”.

he’s right.

the problem with subway is you can actually SEE them make your sandwich. you can count along that your five dollar footlong only has six slices of meat and a shitload of bread. mine has three times as much meat and half as much bread.

that’s a no brainer.

so, i got one conversion this week – and the same thing happened last week (don’t know what that guy’s “regular” was, but he asked for what i ordered, too) so two down, several to go.

there’s no annoying spokesperson.

there’s no annoying song.

it’s not a five dollar footlong, it’s actually a five dollar six inch…but worth every fucking penny.

so when you decide to “eat fresh” at subway, go for fresh kill, not fresh bread. i’m just sayin’.