“in the ass, bob”

i don’t get reality tv…

…i thought i finally did. i really did. then i realized what i watch, even though sometimes referred to as “reality shows” aren’t really “reality” so much as they are “game” shows.

allow me to explain.

i figured it out like this – if you have a “winner” when all is said and done (i.e. “american idol”, “ultimate fighter”, “tool academy”) then it’s a GAME show, just a drawn out one – but far from “reality”.

although, let’s face it, reality shows are REALLY far from reality, anyway. take it all the way back to “the real world” (the most ironic title mtv came up with since…well…the “m” started standing for “more lame shows” rather than “music”). and “road rules”. i couldn’t make it through whole episodes of any of ’em.

same with “survivor” (which has a winner, so i think it’s more a game show).

i thought i was getting into it since i got hooked on both “tool academy” and “ultimate fighter” – but it was the reality (no pun intended – not even MY humor is that lame) that these had winners, and as a result had to be GAME shows, that it occurred to me that the entertainment value in reality tv is something i just don’t get.

i have two friends from college in the airline industry. to see how their lives go i decided to try and sit through “a!rline” the other day and couldn’t do it. same for “miami ink” and “l.a. ink” (and i’ve actually worked in tattoo shops), “pawn kings”, and whatever other occupation got a reality show this week (it seems as andy warhol once stated, EVERYBODY gets fifteen minutes of fame when all is said and done) and none of it…absolutely NONE of it, entertains me.

make it a drawn out game show and the dvr will be set.

speaking of, as i recently slammed my degree, i did want to show i remembered SOMETHING from college while illustrating why most game shows these days aren’t shown live. hell, even the “live” ones are on a digital delay – guaranteed. back in the day (mid seventies, i believe) on the newly wed game (where newly married couples were asked questions apart and then their answers were compared to see how well they knew each other for cash and prizes).

the question: “where’s weirdest place you’ve ever ‘made whoopie*’?”

*’made whoopie’ = fucked

his answer (NOT on live tv): “on the freeway”
her answer (ON live tv, with no delay): “in the ass, bob”

and that killed live tv game shows for good. google that shit – i am NOT making that up.

and then just to throw something halloweenish up, this picture always makes me smile: