people of wal-mart vs. sean

so, there’s a people of wal-mart site…

…and i guess for all those that don’t know that, there are tons of chain emails sent around by people, typical with a couple dozen pics of the site of that name. which came first? i honestly could give a fuck less, and it’s hard to find a higher redneck ratio in an email or website – oh, the hilarity!

typically, i don’t shop at wal-mart. it’s not that i like paying more for my shit, and unlike a few of my friends that don’t shop there it’s not for some political protest reason – quite frankly, i don’t usually need anything from there, and what i MIGHT need can be had somewhere else where the lines aren’t thirty-two people deep at 1am with a dozen of those thirty-two people having small children in tow.

on a side note, have you ever seen that? the couple at wal-mart with one (though typically more) child under the age of twelve with them at some obscenely late hour like one or two in the morning? and then they wonder why their kids don’t do well in school – let ’em get some sleep and that might fuckin’ change. i’m just sayin…you’re not showing them parental compassion when they check out at wal-mart at 1am – you’re showing them their future. not just where they’ll shop, but if they’re lucky, where they’ll work. sad, eh?

but, i digress…

the other day i went to wal-e-world and had my own “people of wal-mart” experience – i was on the phone (i think babbling to ME, but i could be mistaken) and i was using my bluetooth. while i don’t ascribe to being that dick on the bluetooth (i don’t leave it in my ear when i’m NOT on the phone) it is handy as all hell when driving and picking up forty pound sacks of dog food. i’m just sayin’. but yesterday, in the pet food aisle, when i got off the phone and gave a typical “i’ll talk to you later, sweetie…bye” salutation i suddenly heard this hillbilly down the aisle from me…

“oh, he was on his phone – i thought he was a retard or something…”

i calmly walked over to him and said…

clearly you have your terms mixed up…”retards”, as you so lovingly refer to them, are people with a mental handicap that have a problem being educated or adapting, on their own, to normal, modern society…kinda like, well, YOU. you’re thinking of a CRAZY PERSON…those are the ones that talk to themselves, have conversations with invisible people, and can snap with an automatic weapon, go on a hillbilly killing spree, and then drive all night to the big bridge over the swamplands of louisiana in order to dump the body across state lines and have it disappear into the muck to become gator shit. there’s a WORLD of difference between the two…

no response.

damn, i hate wal-mart.