critics choice II (sorta)

the original plan on this?

…which i only mention ’cause of the question i ended the last bit with – go off on how all my female friends (most of which happen to be hot, petite, somewhat-busty (or alarmingly busty) latin girls – just like the girls i’ve dated for the better part of the last decade all say “they’re surprised i’m single” and how i’m “a great catch” and how “any woman would be lucky…” but none of them happen to try and cross that friendship line and see if i actually AM a great catch. you CAN cross back, ya know – one reader (no naMEs mentioned) has done it – you can, too!

i’m just sayin’…these things go through my head when we don’t see the sun for days at a stretch and i notice how i always go to bed (and wake up) alone. as i’m warm-natured and don’t like to cuddle while i sleep in many ways this might be a good thing, but i’m just sayin’…sue me, sometimes you get a bit lonely.

let’s move on…

so, it’s columbus day. the banks are closed and there’s no mail…why? so we can celebrate our italian heritage. what does that mean, exactly? in the northeast it means something – they have a rich italian heritage with little italy neighborhoods and crime families that inspired a couple of godfather movies (i say a couple ’cause most true italians like to pretend that third one didn’t happen). and what did he do? he took that whole new-fangled (at the time) “world is round” theory and sailed the opposite way out of italy to india in the hopes it was shorter, but instead found a continent full of indigenous people with their own mores, religion, and culture – and said “now it’s ours! let the rape, pillage, and genocide begin!” and here we are.

so why can’t i get mail?

i’m not italian, but the mail and banks shut down for the day.

i’m not black, but they do it on m.l.k. day as well (i’m actually okay with that one).

i’m not latin (although i date enough into their culture to get partial credit, i imagine) but everything is still open on cinco de mayo.

i AM irish, and everything is open on st. patrick’s day so bars can make change (i hate to stereotype my own people, but we all know it’s true and i’m sipping a glass of bushmill’s while i write this, so why hide it?)

there are about as many irish as italians, i’d imagine (just guessing) and while blacks might outnumber us the latin folk outnumber all three of us put together – why not suspend mail and bank biz on one of their holidays? just the kind of random shit that goes through my mind as the irish bottled water most of you know as “whiskey” starts to course through my veins and i wonder if we’ll ever see the sun again…