lazy fucks (a throwback)

okay, i think i may have ranted about this before, but if i have, let me know, because i HATE to repeat myself…when i was leaving the gym today i saw something that REALLY bugs me…not as much as it bugged me to have the battery light come on as i pulled out of the parking lot. see, when i bought my ’98 malibu in mid-2001, i read up on it, and read it was one solidly built car. truth be known, in the year and some change i’ve had it i’ve had three flat tires fixed and had the oil changed a dozen or so times. that’s it. nothing major, knock on wood…and all the stuff i read about it said that it was all good on it’s own to 100,000 miles…the transmission, coolant system, spark plugs, everything.

well, today, shortly AFTER the battery light came on and scared the shit out of me for the two minutes it stayed on before disappearing (only to reappear even briefer a little later in the evening), my car crossed slaughter lane and i35…and as it did so, rolled over to 100,000 miles on the odometer. so my fear is that this is the start of things to come…but much as the calendar rolling over to 2k didn’t do shit, i figure 100k on the ‘bu won’t, either.

so, i think i may have ranted about this before, but if i have, let me know, because i HATE to repeat myself…when i was leaving the gym today i saw something that REALLY bugs me (don’t worry…i TOTALLY did that on purpose just to remind you where we were…).

i counted not one, not two, but FOURTEEN cars parked in the fire lane…the first one being a brand new range rover discovery that i almost t-boned because he parked his limey u.v. on the red curb behind my car. now, there’s quite a few spaces in the back lot, and i know some of them stayed open because you can see that lot from the elliptical machine i was working out on for most of my time there…after a half hour arm work out. but they were FAR away. and why park FAR away when you can illegally park closer. closer means less of a walk across the hot parking lot…and less of a walk when you get back from, oh yeah, WHAT was it you came here to do?

that’s right…WORK OUT!!! and SWEAT!!! and EXERCISE!!!

kinda like you do walking across a hot parking lot in texas in august…and the parking lot has no membership fees, no initiation, and no contracts to sign. i guess that’s why no one wants to sweat there…they aren’t debited $30 a month for a parking lot…they pay good money to sweat in an air conditioned room.

what the FUCK?

i used to see this back in the day when all the gold’s gyms in austin were world’s gyms, and there was one on stassney in what appeared to be an old grocery store building. people would park along the fire lane curbs in front of the lot to be as close to the door as possible instead of parking in the almost empty back part of the lot to come get their work out on. i once noticed one person do this, walk in, and get on the treadmill for about twenty or thirty minutes, and then go to leave. i ran into them as we both hit the door…

i said, “kinda played ‘create-a-space’ here, didn’t ya?”
she replied, “yeah, but it’s SO damn hot, ya know…i didn’t wanna walk all that way…”
“but,” i replied, “all you DID was walk…you drove up here, and parked illegally, so that you could go inside and WALK…just WALK. that makes NO sense if you park closer so you don’t have to walk as far to WALK…”

i got a blank stare in return…

i saw this at the gym in lockhart where i started working out about ten years ago…there was this group of four women that would come up to the two treadmills…two would get on, the other two would sit near by and talk to them..after about fifteen minutes, they’d switch. then they’d leave. what made this more puzzling was this was a community gym with NO air conditioning…on some nights, it was almost more pleasant OUTSIDE than inside. so why drive up to just walk on a treadmill? why not just walk up to the building, smack the wall, and walk home. NO money spent there, ya know? kinda like the people who drive up to the high school track and park illegally there to walk the track…why not just walk your block? or walk to the track?

i guess it’s because with a gym membership we FEEL like we’re doing more for ourselves, even if we just do stuff we do at home. just go and do the stair master? you live on a third floor apartment, and have for three years. you ARE the stair master. i do mostly weights, which i CAN’T do at home, and do the elliptical since i can walk or run at home, do bleachers for the stair-master, and own a mountain bike, so the exercycle is kinda pointless…

i now realize my problem is really with WALKERS. if you do a trail, cool. kramer does it right…he WALKS to the hike and bike trail, does the loop, and WALKS home. now THAT makes sense. there may not be much about that boy that makes sense, but damn it, THAT does…

Replies: 1 Comment

I do transportation for a major urban school district (75,000 transported daily). One constant complaint I get is how far the kids have to walk to the stop. Gosh, 5 blocks! A mile!! and…wheeze…a mile and a half!!! These are the same kids who have personal trainers and a maid to pack the lunch and who are 50 pounds overweight (in the ego as well as the paunch). They want a stop in front of their house (read: mansion) so they don’t have to walk so far and can save their energy to make their teachers’ lives miserable. I’m so sympathetic. And, no, they don’t get special stops unless their parents have “connections”….