sprawled on the sidewalk in front of a bar sweaty and bleeding – my kinda hump day!

okay, so now that i got your attention…

…as previously mentioned, i’m trying to get in to the SAPD academy (amazing what a job search will make you do when things get desperate, huh?) and since i’ve already passed the written exam (not as easy as i thought, lots of reading, but overall not bad) it’s on to the physical, which a navy girl i know looked up online for me. turns out it apparently includes sit ups (i should be cool), push ups (i know i’m cool) a vertical jump (with a 29″ inseam that should be somewhat comical) and a 1.5 mile run.

notice no comment on the last one? for good reason – i don’t run or jog, typically.

i always figured i could if i HAD to, but in my day to day life i don’t HAVE to and for my entire life (adult and otherwise) i never understood people that run for fun. to me it’s dull as fuck, even with an iPod in tow. i’m sure if i could get it locked down as part of my routine i would lose weight and have more energy…

…of course, the same could be said for a meth habit, but i’m not looking to make that part of my daily routine, either.

since it DOES appear to be a necessary evil i figure i needed some kind of preparation, so i started doing cardio more at the gym. okay, so “more” is the wrong word. i STARTED doing cardio at the gym, as since i started back post-corporate layoff i think i’ve done cardio TWICE. a “friend” (in quotes ’cause we chat on facebook but i’ve never actually met her) that does the bikini/fitness model thing said to do cardio AFTER weights because otherwise you have no energy to lift; problem with that plan being that then i have a good hour to burn out/talk myself out of cardio…so shannon’s plan lasted all of a day, and i went back to doing cardio first.

i do the eliptical, although i try to work in the treadmill at it’s steepest angle as well. i do at the steep angle for two reasons:

1. i saw this new nordic track treadmill that REALLY inclines, kinda want one, so this is as close as i can get (15% vs. 40% on the nordic track)

2. i won’t run on a treadmill. period.

what’s the reason behind number two? how many sitcoms have you seen where somebody, while running on a treadmil, eats it? typically by being launched of the back in some comedic fashion. that never would have happened while they were just WALKING, even if it were a brisk walk. so, i do the brisk walk.

i would run ‘cept for the treadmill’s locations.

the gym i work out in is a small weightlifter’s gym. there are no pilates classes. there’s no daycare. in fact, there are signs up TELLING you to leave kids at home. no, it’s a gym…and it only has four treadmills.

three of them are on one side of the gym that, in the mornings when it’s cool, is open via a metal garage door that’s RIGHT behind the three treadmills, so if you mis-step and launch yourself off the back you literally eject yourself from the building and end up on the sidewalk right across the street from the patio of sean patrick’s irish pub where shane and i sometimes watch ufc – sure, you get to entertain drunk college kids, but at what expense?

the real pain would be if it happened on the lone treadmill i use, over on the other side next to the elipticals – there you have a wall that’s only about a foot high behind a stairmaster, two elipticals, and the treadmill – atop the wall is a large window, and between the wall and the treadmill is all of TWO INCHES of floor. mis-step here with it going full tilt speed and you end up on the aforementioned sidewalk after crashing through a large window, so now your covered in glass, bleeding, and GUARANTEED the crowd saw you due to the universal glass breaking noise that makes anybody with a pulse turn and look.

no thanks.

so, i’ll continue the fast eliptical and not-so-fast treadmill. of course saturday (as in this coming – that’s when the physical test is) will be chronicled in “protect and serve iii”. hopefully i don’t embarrass any of us too badly.