i have to warn my readers…
…this bit does involve strippers and shit.
and i don’t mean that as an expression – like “what do you want to do tonight? go shoot some pool and shit?” where the “…and shit” part doesn’t mean literal human excrement.
no, this bit is about strippers and actual human excrement so…yeah…i warned you if you keep reading.
and i rarely feel the need to warn you. just sayin’.
okay, here we go…
…one of my guys told me this, saying it happened to a friend or a friend of a friend or something, but he swears it HAS to be an urban legend. but i googled it and nothing. i asked around, and i have some pretty sick friends, and none of them had heard of it.
so maybe this is true? than again, i’ve come up with some pretty twisted stories for this site i swore were true that, in fact, weren’t true – so maybe one of his friends is just super inventive? i don’t know – if you’ve heard this (or some version thereof) lemme know, and see if you have back up on it.
so a guy goes into a strip club and starts a tab. gets drink after drink, dance after dance, shoots pool with a couple of the girls, etc, etc. picks one out in particular and they go to the special “vip room”. she gets totally naked there, starts breaking all the rules, stuff’s getting porno-style nasty, song after song, and stuff’s going well and the tab just keeps growing and growing and growing. drink after drink, song after song, dance after dance with things being licked and nibbled and inserted in ways and places things aren’t legally allowed to be licked and nibbled and inserted.
than he drops the bomb (or, more to the point, asks her to):
for an extra $500 tip, he tells her to take a shit on his chest. says it’s what he’s really into. it takes some convincing, but she finally relents, rips open his shirt, pushes him back on the little private room stage, straddles him, and handles her business.
when she steps away, he gets up very calmly, grabs his shirt, and than RUNS out the door of the vip room into the main room screaming as loud as he can, “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? THIS CRAZY BITCH JUST SHIT ON MY CHEST!!! WHAT KIND OF SICK FUCKING CLUB IS THIS?!?!”
management apologizes profusely, let’s him walk on a $4,500.00 tab if he promises not to sue or call the health department, and fires the girl on the spot.
truth or fiction? i honestly am curious…