i feel like a day off is a step in the wrong direction

i should explain…

…the title isn’t a work statement. i’m actually writing this on a day off work, as i do for most of these. no, i’m talking about health and pain management routine. that i work on every fucking day, typically with little to no results. i seriously don’t know some days what the issue is, but “i’m just getting older” doesn’t cut it for this level of physical degradation.

but from everything i read sitting is the enemy, and that’s what i’m doing as i write this. it’s what i’ll be doing once the wifey gets back from wal-mart. it’s what’s planned for the bulk of the day…because rest is needed, damn it. but i feel like when i don’t at least do some stretching or calisthenics or something than i’m setting myself back; and, quite frankly, that’s getting mentally exhausting. after i write this i gotta clean some stuff outta the fridge, put some rockstars in the fridge, and then i feel like i need to get the wife’s yoga mat out and stretch instead of just sitting down from there.

why do i feel obliged to do so? i blame social media.

fuckin’ algorithms make it to where now a good forty percent of my feed is pills and devices and protocols for back and hip and leg issues (most of which i’ve tried only to give up after a week or three of no results, some of which are still pending charge backs for the bastards that don’t honor their refund promises) and so i’m constantly bombarded with “you’re doing it wrong – do it our way” messaging that repeats with various trainers and yogis and ai slop to make sure i eventually pay them for some version of a stretch or plyometric thing i’ve already done.

it never ends.

and i’m wondering if the pain ever does. if this is supposed to be my “new normal” and this never goes away i’m not sure how much longer i’ll be around. this is just mentally, spiritually, and psychologically (not to mention physically) exhausting. i guess we’ll see where this ride takes us. i owe nik a great fiftieth as she did that for me, which is a year off yet, so we’ll see where the next year takes us.