yeah, just keep reading (a flashback)

saturday night in live oak, texas; and i’m going shopping. we DO have a list, and it has all of THREE items on it…

1. ranch dressing
2. liquor
3. a live hamster

so, as you can tell, being in live oak and all, it was a saturday night with kimberly, the porn star in training (who last night i found out is quite the cook in addition to her many “other” talents.) but this was all the second half of my saturday , so let’s look at the brief FIRST part, shall we?

i’ve never been a big fan of the COMMUTE to the job lasting longer than the job itself. like when i drove two hours, round trip, to actually work all of two MINUTES in san antonio. or the time i drove five hours, round trip, to corpus to work for twelve minutes. well, last night i finally got an austin one. for reasons beyond my control (and reasons that, for professional reasons, i won’t go in to here) i drove ninety minutes round trip to work eight minutes. so that already threw my night’s plans off. throw in a dead cell phone battery and the original plans totally derailed. so we went with a tasty alternate: kimberly, the porn star in training. and went shopping.

and i KNOW you guys can remember the list.

well, due to kimberly’s personal tastes and what she did and did NOT think we needed to make our saturday night one to truly enjoy, we chopped the list down to only two items.

we ditched the ranch dressing.

kimberly, occasionally in touch with her masculine side, decided that we didn’t NEED salad to go with the sixteen ounce ribeyes she’d grilled up for us. or potatoes. just steak. and booze. and a live hamster with all the trimmings.

oh…by the way…had i mentioned that today was brandal’s seventh birthday? brandal being kimberly’s son. he turns seven today (happy birthday, brandal) and wanted a pet; kimberly thought that a hamster would be a good, inexpensive call. now…what were y’all THINKING we needed a hamster for? you damn perverts. that is SO not me. my three rules are:

1. no animals
2. no kids
3. no stuff that you do in the privacy of your own bathroom.

other than that, anything that happens between me and a woman (or two, or three, or…) is all good. and the hamster would CLEARLY violate rule one (which were not listed in any particular order, i might add). not all abide by these rules, as the internet has shown me. as has kimberly’s boyfriend…

ONLY kidding. those rumors are TOTALLY unconfirmed. i mean, a lot of guys buy those sheepskin mittens to polish their cars. but most people actually use them on their CARS. and don’t name them “sam”. but never mind all that now. that’s a WHOLE different story.

Replies: 3 Comments

Kimberly buying Brandal a hampster??!! You might want to ask her about her past experiences with her own hamsters…

The Porn Star’s Mom said @ 07/13/2002 04:14 PM GMT

You forgot to mention that I risked death by snakebite to grill those steaks. And by the way, I wasn’t kidding when I said I dropped yours.

Porn Star said @ 07/07/2002 07:08 PM GMT

is a chicken considered a live animal?