back to reality (a throwback)

Author: sean M Published: April 6, 2008 0 comments edit

some traditions need to come back into my world…

…like “grill n’ be grilled sunday”.

AND THE SUNDAY SIX PACK!!!

so, as you’re reading this i’m probably cooking, drunk, or both. and enjoying a night of american-idol free fox programming. seriously, i think sunday is the one night they don’t have us voting for something…or watching someone destroy their marriage for cash. or something. more people vote for the next american idol then turn up for the presidential primaries. grown men are actually proud to say they’re smarter than a fifth grader…

…what the fuck?

so, i wanna see how bad it will get – here’s my prediction of six shows that could happen…or did they already?

1. are you smaller than a fifth grader? the playboy channel – guys that are…um…below average compete for bunny attention and play trivia. winner gets penile enlargement surgery…and a hot date with one of heff’s chicks.

2. who wants to f*&k a governor? cspan – learning from new york governor boy’s life-altering screw up (pardon the pun) we just put it all out there and make it fun! with him, and he gets to choose the skank with no shame. think “rock of love”, but we actually get to see the guy’s bald…

3. who wants to marry a u.s. citizen? bravo – sadly, they actually tried to make this to show “love knows no borders”. i got nothing to add here. no wonder why it didn’t make it to air.

4. texas survivor cmt – we put a gay, bi-racial couple on i35 at the oklahoma border in a pink suburban that has giant graphics on the side that read, “we’re queer, we’re not white, and we’re here to take your guns away and burn your flags!” if they make it to the border at laredo, we fly them to switzerland and get ’em married!

5. STD’d mtv – a guy gets a dream date with lohan or spears but at the end of the night ashton kusher comes out and let’s them know BAM! – they’ve been STD’d. follow up episode reveal what it is, and how much radiation the poor bastard has to expose himself to to get rid of it…then we flip it to girls, but set them up with flavor flav or brett michaels.