this could all just be a coincidence…
…but i kinda doubt it.
so, the other night i was watching vice news (as i do) and they did a report (complete with fun animation) about the return of ear marks, i.e. “pork bills”, where federal tax money is allocated to do weird shit in a specific place for a specific purpose. for example, when a bill went through that included a rider that added funds be allocated to watch a lobster in a tank on the internet to see what it would do day in and day out, for example. similar shit has gone down to have rats on treadmills, or weird statues built.
think of it as the congressional version of “no green M&M’s” but with a shit load less purpose and a metric shit load more money.
and in the same breath, they talked about how the FTC (as it Federal Trade Commission) was investigating why the mcflurry machines seem to always be broken at mcdonald’s.
i thought that was a joke…until it came up in my news feed the next morning.
with all the debt and bullshit and pulling out of this country but taking care of their people in this country why in the ever loving FUCK do we need to waste tax dollars on pseudo ice cream with candy and cookies and shit in it?
have you never heard of dairy queen? their shit ALWAYS works.
seriously – i’m fucking FIFTY and i have never seen a dairy queen that had electricity NOT be able to do blizzards and shit. that’s their thing. plus there’s sonic, tons of mom and pop places, and at this point half the ice cream section of your local grocers is shit like “ameri-cone dream” and “chunky monkey” and “netflix and chill” and other pints that are, that’s right, ice cream with candy and cookies and shit in it.
so save the tax dollars for a better purpose and stop eating fake ice cream from machines with real problems.