pass the pizza, pump the pecs (a flashback)

to show where my mind’s as…

…once i made it about half way through this i could barely correct the typos because i was re-checking myself asking, “which gold’s were you at eighteen years ago today?” and i think, given the delaware subs reference, it was the one on william cannon and i-35, which i believe they closed because of the new one on congress and slaughter? i’m not sure – it’s been a while since i was over that way. at least, eighteen years later (and i’d been going for a good ten years prior) i’m still in the gym three to four days a week. that’s why the ufc laughs at me when i talk about getting sick.

04/02/2003: “stupid shit, different day”

i’ve had a couple of people ask me lately how the stuff on this page comes up…like how i write this. well, part of it is odd stuff that happens to me, or people tell me, or whatever. part of it comes from the fact that i’m essentially a sick, twisted individual with a severely perverted streak and a rather “quick draw” wit. but the majority of it is just me not so much pointing out society’s ills in the grand since of the phrase, but rather stuff that i see and it makes me wonder who’s brain went on vacation but left the body behind to look stupid. such was the case with last night’s workout…

i walk into gold’s. rock music hits me in the face…not sheryl crow, or norah jones, or r n’ b, or any of the other crap they’ve been playing which makes for decent listening music when you’re driving or hanging out, but sucks in a big way when you’re trying to get your fitness on. “nice”, i thought…finally things are getting the way they should be around here. then something else hit me in the nose…an odd smell for a gym….


“what?”, i thought to myself; but upon closer inspection, i’ll be damned…a pizza buffet in the entry way of the gym. and sodas. and nachos. and a taco bar. this is a place to get HEALTHIER, right?

i asked one of the gold’s girls what the hell was going on, and she explained that a radio station was doing a remote broadcast and they had set the food up for all the listeners. i wondered if this was some kind of cruel marketing idea…you know, make them feel full and bloated and then go, “so, fat-ass…wanna lose those tacos the hard way?”

it just seemed to me like having an open bar at an aa meeting. i was kinda proud of myself; even though a free meal IS a free meal, i skipped the post-leg-day pizza buffet in favor of a nice healthy sandwich from delaware subs. i wonder if they’ll have ice cream tonight…they could have frozen yogurt, i suppose…but this IS a gym, ya know. why start being healthy now?

Replies: 4 Comments

Speaking as a woman who never met a burrito she didn’t like….ah…really, I’m talking about Mexican food, um, yeah, Mexican food.

South of the Border Cuisine said @ 04/04/2003 09:56 PM CST

Mrs. hoover my worm crawled in my mouth and then i ate it can i have another

Ralph said @ 04/04/2003 12:20 PM CST

hey now…i use my membership at least three times a week, and i like to eat (even longer if she’s shaved…oops…did i say that out loud? we weren’t even taking it there, were we?) what does that make me?

sean said @ 04/03/2003 10:04 PM CST

Only 10% of people who have gym memberships actually use them. I think the gym is marketing towards their true audience: people who like to eat.

Truth in marketing. said @ 04/03/2003 07:36 PM CST

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