on the downside, we didn’t open up any new months with the flashbacks this year end…
…but on the upside, they were all pretty good bits. here’s one last one since i work all weekend, which kinda matched the first one:
02/14/2006: “unless he brought strippers…”
let me take a stab at this…
…pardon the pun.
twas the night of the valentine
and all through my house
nobody got lovin’…
…not me, nor my spouse
that probably had to do
with my status of “s”
and no quick chance of correction
since that dating site mess
(she said she was eighteen…)
then out in the kitchen
heard the dogs make a ruckus
i loaded up the glock pistol
quicker than you say, “fuck this!”
ran out to the kitchen, and chambered a load
clicked on my new laser site
set in “sniper mode”
when what should appear in the beam of my sniper?
but a little blonde kid
wearing nothing but a diaper
he had wings on his back
and a bow, and some arrows
and with the exception of cloth pampers
he was naked as a sparrow
if he was female, and smokin’
i’d toss the gun on the shelve
but he was male, and far from it
and looked under twelve
“i’m not michael jackson,” i said with no glee
“and your psycho ass ain’t draggin’ me on court t-v…
…i’m not into children, or faggots, or geeks…
…or archers, or diapers, or sick winged freaks!!!
i like titties, and g-strings,
and hot latin ass
and the occasional threesome with two strippers will pass
so put on your clothes and leave my house be…
this pistol is loaded – you have till count three…”
“i’m CUPID!!!”, he screamed, as i calmly said, “one…”
“the joy of love will be with you as you lower your gun!!!
you heart will feel warm, your spirit will fly!!!
you’ll respect the musical genius that is air supply!!!”
“two…”, i kept counting, and he pleaded away…
“i can make it to where EVERY moment feels like VALENTINE’S DAY!!!”
three wasn’t needed after the last thing he had declared…
…i blew a hole in his skull bigger than the state of delaware!!!
(i know that’s a small state, but in relative size to a person’s head that’s a pretty big fuckin’ hole!!!)
hope i’m not the only one that feels this way…
and that concludes our holiday break!