am i a dirty old man?

i admit this was supposed to be the bit on august 16th, but since that was mom’s 80th i decided that this wasn’t an appropriate topic…

…but now it’s two days after (what should have been) her special day, so let’s get raunchy!

i kid – this won’t really be that kinda bit.

we were watching the new rob schneider special the other day, which i highly recommend. i’ve never been a big schneider fan. i admittedly had never seen his stand up, but i always thought his trademark characters on snl were lame, and while he gets participation trophies for some decent movie roles in a bunch of sandler’s shit, he only works in those small doses for me.

i wasn’t so sure about a whole fifty-five minutes of him, that’s for sure. but i quite enjoyed it.

spoiler alert – a joke from the special and the trailer is that, now that he’s in his fifties, it’s not that he’s not into sex, but now he’s just as in to cookies. like, fucking is cool…but so is getting your sugar fix. i’m not in my fifties yet, but the countdown has started. i’ve had the last birthday of my forties a couple months ago. we’re jet skiing towards that line at this point.

and while i enjoy a midnight snack of milk and cookies on the regular after closing the shop, i’d take sex over that happily. and i’ve always been that way. and i don’t really see it changing. there’s a metric fuck ton of testosterone products marketed to men my age (and older) talking about how it will make us feel youthful, more energetic, help us build muscle, and help us get our sex drive back. i always see those ads, but if i ever comment to the ufc about it she always brings up how i have NO issue in that last department, almost in a tone that i have a little too much leanings towards that…

…is that a bad thing?

i’ve tried a couple of those things with mixed results. i’ve tried them mainly for the “energy” factor. on my days off, when i feel i should be doing yard work, or car work, or housework, i spend a lot of time sitting at my desk…doing shit like this (i.e. writing what you’re reading). i thought maybe a little boost would help me. i’ve seen some gains in the gym here and there, sometimes at the detriment of my joints (apparently my elbows and knees have gotten the memo of what my real age is) but for the most part it doesn’t do much. i typically never take them for more than sixty days, but i’m currently experimenting with doubling that to four months since i hopped back on em to help facilitate getting back to “normal” in the gym after the forced two months of the CoVid break.

but the sex drive remains the same, which i see as a good thing.

shit, the one time i tried to boost in was after i went on my mad fruitless echinacea search and saw that you could just get “horny goat weed” as it’s own pill (it’s usually advertised as being the principle ingredient in truck stop viagra style shit) so i decided to grab some just to see how the other half lived and it actually had the OPPOSITE effect. who knew?

so what do you do when your body ages but your sex drive doesn’t? hope that your partner’s doesn’t age either? if it does, hire in additional support? i’m starting to wonder here!

1 comment… add one
  • kramerw Aug 18, 2020 @ 11:02

    I think this explains it all:

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