the gate to hell is framed with twerking latina ass

sometime i make shit up to make this stuff entertaining for you people…

…and sometimes i don’t have to.

a few of you might remember the early 2000s. i’m not gonna say we were the wild west, and certainly the word “shit” didn’t fly on basic cable like it does today (you can thank trey parker and matt stone and their south park episode that was aired the day after i turned thirty for that trend) but we were definitely a lot less repressed and offended than the modern populace tends to be today. why? because THIS happened:

“nipplegate” as it became known exposed fine-ass janet jackson’s scandalously pierced nipple to the masses. the white masses. the white conservative masses. and their poor kids that watch the innocence that is american football. or so the story goes. now some of those boys might wanna bring a black girl home to meet mom – and we can’t have that!

(it should be noted that said nipple was exposed by former disney child star justin timberlake, who was and is still popular among the chalky folk both on stage, radio, and screen)

but the “wardrobe malfunction” ushered in a new era of conservatism for our new millineum. songs that weren’t censored on the radio prior were then. same with older tv shows. the trend was initiated – and it continues, sixteen years later, at this fucking level.

as a shirt somewhere in the city says (or should say):

if you can’t handle the latina ass, stay the fuck outta miami!

well this guy couldn’t, which is funny because the man that’s now suing the nfl for sending him to hell thanks the to the gyrations, sensations, and released frustrations he experienced thanks to the shakira and j-lo show at half-time (where they were more than most girls half their age do in miami on a tuesday) admitted he didn’t even watch the show, but rather highlights (low lights?) after the fact. and he thinks this suit has merit? change the fucking channel, dipshit – the world isn’t NEARLY this moral, is it? if so it might be time for us to pack our shit…

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