bad news? bitch, please

we haven’t done one of these in a while…

…where i present a bullshit email and then my commentary as we go. main reason? it’s been a while since i had one i felt was bit worth. but, man, is this piece of shit bit worthy!


I have very bad news for you.
27/07/2019 – on this day I hacked your OS and got full access to your account
You can check it – I sent this message from your account.

just so you know, there’s easily obtainable software that will show the call came from inside the house like this. the laughable part is this email exists but doesn’t. there’s no more server for the whore, it lives as a literal cyber ghost forwarding, site-wise, to here, and email-wise, to my yahoo account. there’s nothing for him (or her) to “hack” here.

So, you can change the password, yes.. But my malware intercepts it every time.

How I made it:
In the software of the router, through which you went online, was a vulnerability.
I just hacked this router and placed my malicious code on it.
When you went online, my trojan was installed on the OS of your device.

again, the email doesn’t live on my device, so there’s nothing to get on my device. and since when did hackers start working on TLC where they teach you how to do what they do? or reveal how it works? is this a shake down or a documentary? NOT asking for a friend…

After that, I made a full dump of your disk (I have all your address book, history of viewing sites, all files, phone numbers and addresses of all your contacts).

this is where the seed of the shake down begins…”i know how to reach your friends and family”. well guess what, dick head…i don’t have any contact information stored anywhere on my pc. at all. so what contacts do you have?

A month ago, I wanted to lock your device and ask for a not big amount of btc to unlock.
But I looked at the sites that you regularly visit, and I was shocked by what I saw!!!
I’m talk you about sites for adults.

I want to say – you are a BIG pervert. Your fantasy is shifted far away from the normal course!

some of the phrasing here lets you know this is all being done through a translating program and english is not this person’s first language

And I got an idea….
I made a screenshot of the adult sites where you have fun (do you understand what it is about, huh?).
After that, I made a screenshot of your joys (using the camera of your device) and glued them together.
Turned out amazing! You are so spectacular!

two notes to add here, and one might surprise you. i rarely use my notebook online when i’m not at home, which means the thing is on the docking station, closed, so the camera is off because all it would shoot is touch pad…and the biggest revelation that will marvel most of you – i never look at porn on my pc. ever. because that’s where shit like this CAN come from.

I’m know that you would not like to show these screenshots to your friends, relatives or colleagues.
I think $750 is a very, very small amount for my silence.
Besides, I have been spying on you for so long, having spent a lot of time!

Pay ONLY in Bitcoins!
My BTC wallet: 34Kb9m89uGdGH8k4

yes, i edited his wallet info so this can’t be traced by whoever nor can anybody send him anything or what have you…

You do not know how to use bitcoins?
Enter a query in any search engine: “how to replenish btc wallet”.
It’s extremely easy

hey look – more education!

For this payment I give you two days (48 hours).
As soon as this letter is opened, the timer will work.

After payment, my virus and dirty screenshots with your enjoys will be self-destruct automatically.
If I do not receive from you the specified amount, then your device will be locked, and all your contacts will receive a screenshots with your “enjoys”.

i don’t know that “enjoys” he is talking about, but i got this email almost two months ago and haven’t done shit. seen any mail about me? yeah, that’s what i thought…

I hope you understand your situation.
– Do not try to find and destroy my virus! (All your data, files and screenshots is already uploaded to a remote server)
– Do not try to contact me (you yourself will see that this is impossible, I sent you an email from your account)
– Various security services will not help you; formatting a disk or destroying a device will not help, since your data is already on a remote server.

seems like all the bases are covered here – well played!

P.S. You are not my single victim. so, I guarantee you that I will not disturb you again after payment!
This is the word of honor hacker.

before any of you laugh, i have hacker friends and there is a (pardon the pun) bit of a “code” they go by

I also ask you to regularly update your antiviruses in the future. This way you will no longer fall into a similar situation.

(no, i don’t think michael j fox tried to extort me)

Do not hold evil! I just do my job.
Good luck.

and…fuck off

i mean, come on…we all know how this shit is done these days. a five year old meme can’t be wrong!

that explains the giant screen sizes on things like the note and mega iphone, huh? so, in closing:

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