so, back in the day, i used to walk into sundance records and entertain my buddies with stories i made up on the way to work that started with “so i told the office”…
…most of them have been lost to the sands of time. truthfully i could only ramble off two of them in their entirety right now. but here’s a third:
04/05/2002: “is that donut glaze on your chin or am i just glad to see you? (i.e. a morning quickie)”
so i told the officer, “look i understand that cavity searches are PERFECTLY legal, but i still find three things wrong with this picture…
1. while i understand the video camera being used, is it normal for the streaming web cam to be here?
2. i knew you were supposed to be in uniform, but i thought that was a POLICE uniform, not a cheerleader’s outfit.
and…
3. aren’t you supposed to be the one with the glove on all lubed up searching ME, instead of the other way around?”
but since it was my first time being pulled over by a FEMALE officer, and she wasn’t that bad looking, i decided to leave my lawyer out of this one.
ain’t it amazing what we have to go through to get to drive 60 mph in a school zone around here?

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