it fits without fitting! (a flashback – not a review of my sex life)

once again we don’t have an entry for today that’s EXACTLY fifteen years old…

…or sixteen. but given the title and the fact i just bought tickets to see depeche mode for the eleventh time (and i’m finally breaking my streak of going solo and taking the ufc) i figured this worked – just make sure you read the notes at the end.

02/14/2003: “strangelove”

okay, so this is gonna be a short one…i’m sick, i pulled a muscle in my back from coughing too hard (who knew that was possible?), i’ve got the massive valentine’s day depression going, and i had gas company issues when i went to take a shower so i had no hot water. before i left for okc, the ka fraternity got suspended on ut campus for a racially themed party; which was not the first time they’ve done such things…this IS the frat that considers it’s spiritual founder to be robert e. lee and they try to follow many of his beliefs (keep in mind which side of the civil war he ran, k?). but we’ll deal with that tomorrow…and quote the valarian as we do (the “secret” text of the kappa alpha order…i have a copy at home. don’t ask). for now, let’s talk about pussy…

when i was at sharp things the last time (that’s sharp things tattoo & body piercing, on the square in san marcos…512-353-1170) i swiped a copy of FHM magazine ’cause it was the music issue and i was mid-article when i went to take harold home (harold being the guy who did 90% of my tatts, and is the owner of sharp things tattoo & body piercing, on the square in san marcos…512-353-1170) what can i say…i have been SORELY neglecting promoting homeboy’s studio. now where was i? oh yeah…the magazine.

in it there was an interview with a bunch of groupies, talking about their rock n’ roll “contributions”. a young “lady” on the panel said she had her first orgasm when she fucked dave gahan, vocalist for depeche mode, on the master and servant tour. that tour took place in 1984. looking at their picture, she looks a hair bit older than me, but i’ve aged pretty well from what i’ve been told. she listed her age as “24”, which didn’t EVEN seem right. this brought to mind several theories, and i’m wondering which was right…

a. she lied about her age to the magazine, although you’d think she’d have to show i.d., right?
b. they just mis-printed her age, possibly correcting in a later issue that i never saw, since the one i was reading WAS over a year old.
c. it’s all accurate, and the vocalist for my favorite band ever gave a seven year old girl her first orgasm. ick.

what do you think?

so i dug around and couldn’t find it (probably because it went to back then and all that mail got wiped when we moved here) but the girl in question somehow saw this bit back when (a few years after it ran, i might add, but still impressive) and confirmed that part of the FHM contract stipulates they can manipulate their personal info (name, BIRTHDAY, etc) if they so choose, and they chose to do so, taking about fifteen years off her (she was 22 when she met gahan) and there we are. also, don’t call the number for sharp things – harold now owns the vagabond tattoo company in maui…

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