a shitty monday bit

ever wonder if shit floats?

that’s the lovely jessica, in a pool, on one of these:

it should be noted i have ZERO idea who the fuck “jessica” is, but when i downloaded the image off google the title of it came up as “JessicaOnPoop” so i’ll assume the broad’s name is jessica.

her folks must be so proud!

i saw one of these flying high above a local wal~mart and wondered if i was imagining it. of ALL the fucking emojis out there, the one we’re going to market and hope all goes well is the shit emoji? i know most people like to call it the “poop” emoji, but that’s just make it sound cute. let’s not mince words – it’s a pile of shit.

LITERALLY a pile of shit.

so if you’re saving your money for some shit, you do it with this:

or if your phone is dying, and you need to charge that shit:

but if you want any of this shit, i’d wait for it to go on clearance, ’cause anybody who would pay full price for this is just a shit head!