slap back scott baio saturday? or something like that?

…but now i know.

i just got done watching the reality show scott baio is 45 and single where scott baio tries to figure out what went wrong in his previous relationships that has kept him filing taxes without that fat “married” refund money for so long…

…color me inspired – and hooked on this fucking show.

it had it all – humor, drama, and a guy who can’t figure out why the fuck he’s never been married or had kids – which is kind of the point of the show. he’s looking to find out. he has a girlfriend; he’s just wondering if this, like all the others, will “hit the wall” and be done.

i can so fucking relate to this. i’ve been engaged three times – with no ceremony ever taking place.

clearly i make a good FRIEND to women…possibly even an okay boyfriend. but a fiance’?

looking like i kinda suck in that category.

i guess when i do get married it’s gonna have to be in vegas, and the engagement will last only as long as it takes to get from the hard rock to the chapel. and i AM heading there in september for kramer’s wedding, anyway – any takers ladies?

wow – look at all the hands. now, y’all do realize that i meant for me and not for kramer, right?

and the hands fall…welcome to my world.

all my female friends (some of whom i’ve dated and am still interested in, but we’ll avoid that topic until i get my glass of “medicine” in my hand later…) tell me i’ll make an awesome dad, a great husband, and am, overall, a terrific catch that any woman would be lucky to have…

…any woman except any of them, apparently.

why does that make that shit less believable?

so, i find myself watching scott baio is 45 and single almost as a “how to, how not to…” instructional video. i figure he’s got nine years on me, but has also dated pamela lee, denise richards, heather locklear, and about six thousand other women that wouldn’t allow me to even jerk-off in the same area code as they happen to be – so i figure i need to get my shit together by age forty or call it done.