what can i do to get you in this car today?

i do have to do some car shopping later this year…

…but this one isn’t about that. it’s about the ongoing sprint issues.

i think i’ve covered this but i’m not sure so i’ll be brief. short version – we were ALWAYS going to have to deal with sprint late fees due to a policy change on their payment grace period (our bill was due a couple days before i got paid and over a week before the ufc did) so we put in to have our bill due date changed to the first. we were told this would cause a slight “pro rated hiccup” that would see our bill go up “about twenty-five or thirty bucks” for “a month…MAYBE two” and that it might take a few bill cycles for all to get right again.

fair enough.

so imagine my surprise when last month our bill didn’t “hiccup…twenty-five or thirty bucks” but rather spike almost FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING DOLLARS in a single month. i called. i cursed. a LOT. i finally got a US based rep who said we would get a hundred dollar credit on LAST months bill as well as this month’s bill to cushion this error. we saw the credit last month…but he appears to have left us high and dry this month. i called to get the credit applied (figuring it was just an oversight and would be in the account notes) and got a rep in (no surprise) india. he told me the credit was ALREADY applied. this disturbed me because our bill was the usual amount, which normally woulda been nice, but it was supposed to be a hundred bucks light to help cushion the couple hundred extra i had to pay last month…

…i was not happy.

so i got transitioned up a level, which is where the aforementioned credits were kicked in last time. this time i got this lady who put me on hold and when she came back was clearly in salesgirl mode. i’ve worked with these people in corporate america. they have this air about them, like they can sell anything to anyone and they take this tone with you like they’re doing you a favor with phrases like “exclusive plan” and “big discounts” and “HUGE savings” and asking me if “these discounts would help out you and your family” because “they can only be had with my department” and “aren’t published out on the web anywhere”.

i hate when it gets knee-deep and i’m wearing flip-flops.

her proposed plan would save us, over-all, about a hundred bucks…but would come with a data limit, although she claims that looking at our overall usage we were WAY below that line every month but just “to prepare for the storm” if we DID happen to go over this limit we would just see a slow-down in data speed, not any extra charges.

interesting…

here were my problems with her plan and…well…her in general:

1. i had it from two previous reps that we get a “loyalty discount” on all our phone leases, which together total $83 currently, because we were on an old plan, and that said discounts were there to KEEP us on an old plan, and that while newer plans WERE a bit cheaper they also negated the “loyalty” (i.e. we lose those discounts) so in the long run they weren’t a good call and that, due to this, her “HUGE SAVINGS” was less than twenty bucks…to cap our data. also…

2. this did ZERO to address if the discount was applied THIS MONTH which was my fucking concern in the first place and the reason i’d been bouncing around the globe and listening to shitty hold music for forty-five FUCKING minutes and…

3. this did ZERO to address why my bill was still fluctuating, which again was the only OTHER reason i had been bouncing…shitty…fucking…fuckity-fuck-fuck minutes.

when i call to address concerns, don’t try and sell me, bitch…fix my shit. we haven’t upgraded our phones yet because when we do we lock into another contract for at least a year and although i’ve been with sprint for fifteen years i am NOT locking in with a company that can’t get the monthly bill straight. i’m not under contract anymore. i can take my number ANYWHERE can call this done. four of our five lines are month to month at this point.

i was slapped on hold again so fast i felt hung up on. so hung up on here and called the ufc to see what kind of breakfast tacos she wanted. we’ll revisit this shit monday – bill’s not due till march 4th anyway.