bad idea (i.e. “don’t be that girl”)

there’s been a couple of “forms” circulating around the internet for a girl’s first tattoo…

…and i openly admit that i created my own a while back.

why?

because that shit’s funny. what’s NOT funny is showing it to a potential customer you don’t know so you don’t know if they’ll take it in good humor or be offended. i’m not looking to offend – but unlike a top or hairstyle or accessory a tattoo is for life. even if you decide to later laser and recover (or just laser) you’re easily doubling to quintupling your investment, so why bother? get it right the first time…and avoid something uber trendy, like…

1. mandalas – the bigger, pricier, prettier chinese character. why do i draw that line? because years ago several folks (myself included) got chinese characters but guess what – we weren’t fucking chinese. at least mine were somewhat humorous (left and right on the appropriate food – right’s already been covered, left will be gone by year’s end). likewise, you’re not indian…or even buddhist. you have no need to have a symbol of a culture or a religion you’re not a part of. i don’t have a star of david on me because i’m not jewish. learn by my example…

2. to what and beyond? – so you can’t afford the larger mandala piece but still want something you saw on pinterest? you can always go with the latest uber trend:

we literally do at least three of these every weekend, and that’s just at the shop I’M AT. lord only knows how much company-wide (we have five locations). wanna be original? go asian with it:

(yes, i know most of you aren’t car folks enough to get this…)

3. what’s wrong with this picture?

female readers will say you can’t see her face. male readers will say, “what face?”. the observant will say the stomach rocker is upside down. but that’s on purpose. why? because “it’s for her”. people always get words or crosses or whatever the fuck upside down so it’s right side up to them. so your cross on the back of your wrist is for you? congrats! the old lady checking out behind you at wal-mart now thinks you worship the devil! hail satan!

4. bow and… – just don’t get arrows unless you know what a “quiver” is (and it doesn’t just mean to shake uncontrollably). you’re not native american, i guarantee it. just ’cause miley’s got ’em doesn’t mean you have to – lord knows she’s made her share of bad decisions!

5. don’t give me a semi unless it’s a peterbilt – project semicolon is no joke. it’s faith based (that part i consider a joke, i’ll admit) and dedicated to stopping self-mutilation (read: cutting) and suicide. and while i applaud those of you who have moved on from it, getting a semicolon tattoo (which has been THE thing within the last few months of this being written) only dwells on the past. yes, i get it – a semicolon is just a pause in a sentence and then you move on. so move on…don’t dwell on the pause. why put a permanent reminder of where you almost were when you can focus on where you are now?

(sue me – at least one of these needed to be sincere…)

and finally…

6. stuff turning into other stuff – i get that life is all about growth and evolution…more than my local school board, i might add. but feathers come FROM birds…they don’t turn into them. and dandelions don’t turn into music notes…nor do feathers. and dandelions don’t turn into birds either. so just stop.

oh, and as a bonus – if you get the side of your finger done and think it’ll hold up ’cause you saw it on pinterest, you’re ass fuck retarded…