stop passing me notes, chica

i just shipped what might be the last thing i sell on eBay for a while…

…part of this is because i’ve only got two things left, both listings have expired, and both have been re-listed enough times to where i think i’m long overdue for taking the hint from the online community.

and that’s okay.

it seems like this year has been a rough year for this shit. leading up to the wedding in november i was selling fast and furious to raise capital for the blessed event. you CAN use that term for a wedding, right? that’s appropriate? i know it’s used for births, but thought it fit here as well? moving on…

…it always seems certain items are cursed. a pair of jordans i shipped off to houston last week sold for the third time to those people. eBay has started a “check out as guest” feature which sucks balls, because people can come in, outbid real customers, and with none of their info saved in the database just walk away…leaving you with no money, and actually OWING eBay money for the commission on the sale you never get paid for. then you have to file, re-list, etc, etc. a MAJOR pain in the ass.

shit, i once sold a tool hoddie four times. four. fucking. times. people kept giving me excuses not to pay, or excuses why payment was delayed, or just pulled no call no pays, as it were. the “payment delayed” thing is a real thing in my world because everything i ever sell ends with the same line:

payment is due via paypal within forty-eight hours of auction’s close without exception

pretty cut and dry…or so i thought. because i had no idea paypal still did echecks.

there’s an old pre-sitcom seinfeld routine where he accurately refers to checks as “apology notes” because it’s essentially you writing a note saying, “i left my money at home, but if you contact these people (your bank) they’ll give you this much…”.

you know who still uses paper check? the lady in front of me at the grocery store when i’m in a hurry!

i haven’t used paper checks in years, and on my current account never even got them. they gave me some temps, which i used on a car thing once, but that was it. since i’ve had no need. the only place i know that really uses the electronic version is an online gun store i’ve bought some pistols from…but with merchant fees hovering around four percent, and most guns costing over $500 with the amount of business they do (1,630 people on their site when this was written at 8am on monday) it makes sense to save merchant fees where you can.

but paypal doesn’t charge people merchant fees, and unlike budsgunshop.com i don’t do “cash” discounts.

as a result i was pretty surprised when right before i woulda filed on this chick she sent payment…via paypal…as an echeck. what the fuck? i shot her a polite email:

Please be aware that because you paid by echeck (I didn’t even know those were still a thing) I can’t ship until payment clears, which might not be until this time next week…

she replied with a rather snide:

Hi. Its electronic and last transaction only took two days

well, it took almost a week. auction closed out on wednesday, echeck didn’t clear till tuesday morning. guess daddy knew better, huh? i wish there was a way to block this kinda bullshit payment, but i think instead i might just walk away for a while.