one week later all my plumbing is flowing nicely

don’t worry, this isn’t a medical related entry…

…this is LITERALLY about plumbing.

around 2005 or so alex took a shower and flooded my guest bathroom. i was able to get in the wall behind the tub and see a pipe missing between the drain and the pipe coming out of the floor of about three inches:


see, what had happened was, the foundation of the house had settled just so that the two didn’t line up with a straight piece of pipe so it simply popped off. i called a plumber and they wanted $700 to jackhammer up my slab and replace the pipe from the main drain a foot down in concrete all the way up to what you see here. when i asked “why the fuck would you do all that?!?” i got back the following reply:

we need to make sure we seal off the leak – what you’re describing might not be it, and if the leak persists you’ll expect us to come out and work for free until it’s gone…”

um…okay. you don’t think three inches of MISSING FUCKING PIPE could be where the water is coming from? i told them i’d sign off i ONLY asked them to fix and seal that length of pipe and he said that wouldn’t do, it was six bills or nothing. i said nothing. he then wanted almost a hundred just for spouting this bullshit to me. i told him to fuck off, he refused to leave, and things got heated to the point of me telling him i’d leave the room and retrieve my sig and if he was still standing on my property he would get shot.

that kinda ended that. asshole.

i never got a bill in the mail or received any legal ramification from this. why? because he was a fucking thief and he fucking knew it.

moving on…

i decided to fix it me self, and went to the hardware store buying some normal PVC as well as the kind with the little accordian in the middle for when things don’t line up. it was too crooked for the former and two short for the latter. i then decided to go a little unconventional and grabbed a piece of automotive hose, cut it to fit, and wedged it in. i figured it was flexible enough to bridge the two, temperature resistant, and since it was just a drain and not a high-pressure water pipe it should work brilliantly…

…and it did! the only problem? radiator hose ain’t rodent-proof, and when the weather starts to turn cold in my neighborhood it can drive the occasional critter into your walls, which turned said hose into this:


the pink hair you see is courtesy of the ufb

so, once again, i had a pretty latina taking a shower who ended up flooding my bathroom. found that when once again i got behind the tub (which was a bigger chore since now what was once an empty guest room closet is now filled with toys courtesy of the ufb’s kid) and so it was back to the auto parts store but this time i had to add an addition:


a (theoretically) rodent proof cage around it made of hardware cloth. now i just need to run a trap (or seven) in the attic and see where it all takes us…

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