ios viii – it’s all bret’s fault

the title on this one might be confusing…

…even after you read the bit.

see, there’s a part at the bottom where it makes reference to “bret’s new toy” and i had a link to a pic…that of course, eleven years and some change after the original bit ran, doesn’t work…but if it did, you’d see that his “new toy” was a 2003 bmw z4 – the first year they came out. as much as shane slams it as “what a miata wants to be when it grows up”, i have to admit i find myself looking at them pretty often and that might be my next one. either way you slice it, it was one of the early seeds that got me seriously wanting a bmw.

so, that being said…

01/05/2003: “raise the flag and silence the chickens”

when i got my sprint phone, one of the things i liked about it was that you could download ring tones. that was the one plus of the verizon phone i had right before i switched over…it had AWESOME rings, including cure and depeche mode songs. VERY cool. the selection from sprint isn’t quite so good, but i’m sure they’ll learn eventually. verizon gives you one free ring of your choice from the downloads, and like many a dopeman before them, the first was free but the rest will cost you. sprint just puts one on the damn phone, but it’s not a song…

it’s chickens.

i couldn’t figure out who on EARTH i could use chickens for as their personal ring without them thinking my view of them was…um…odd. so, i used it for all my work calls. if someone calls from the office, or one of the work mobile phones, my phone starts to cluck like a chicken. and yesterday the chickens rose almost as early as i did….8:30 am. on a saturday. never mind the fact that the phone had woke me up an hour prior, which was good ’cause i had volunteered to work that morning. sometimes, when you get broke, you get stupid like that. i was SUPPOSED to be at the office at 9:30, so the call surprised me. it was my boss…

“hey man…we need someone to run equipment to the other data hub…could you make the run?”
“i suppose…where the hell is our other data hub?”
“it’s in the albertsons on arkansas drive, in arlington”
“yep…can you do it? we’re pretty much screwed otherwise…”

so, i was off to dallas. took three and half hours to make the drive, but then fourty-five minutes later i was leaving. all was well. i was in the clear, and i knew where i needed to grab lunch. i got about five miles away…and then came the chickens again.

“hey man…something’s not connecting up right. i need you to go back for just a *quick sec*”

allow me to run that foot note a bit prematurely for you…

*quick sec* = three and a half hours where the chickens cluck, and i’m told to switch a connection from port a or port b or reset the power on a router or piddly three second task and then i’m told to sit and wait and then fifteen to twenty minutes later the chickens cluck again and we repeat. often.

so, i FINALLY get to leave, and go with my “lunch plans” around 5:00 or so…and thus the chickens went silent. and i went to the place where raising the flag doesn’t show your patriotism…it shows your total disregard for your life, health, waist, and the lifespan of your wicker furniture.

Pancho’s Mexican Food Buffet.

we keep seeing the commercials when we’re shooting pool, but they don’t have them in austin anymore. they MIGHT have them in san antonio, but i’m not sure. but they have plenty of them in the dallas metroplex, so that was the plan. problem was, having nothing in my stomach all day save for a pepsi, i got real full real fast and was then hungry three hours later when i hit austin…so i stopped off and had a snack with some cops.

literally. with lance and his partner. then it was off to the traditional saturday night…booze, pool, and josh. and kristen. and i learned the secret to getting a LOT of affectionate attention from the cute, petite waitstaff and also guarantee that i have no date…look good when i go out. two nights in a row. these things happen.

the shining moment of the dallas part of the day? seeing bret and leo again. and bret’s new toy.

it should also be noted that, way back in the early 1980’s, bret is the one that introduced me to the magical evilness that is the pancho’s mexican food buffet, back when there was one in south austin at congress and oltorf.

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