the seinfeldian chronicles, part whatever

so now that the holidays are behind us i’m running shy on material…

…at least for now.

times like this i turn to my phone. in the past, i used to come up with great ideas for bits here at the most random times – driving into austin, running around for work, watching tv with budnik, or during sex (no bullshit) and think to myself, “that’ll make a great bit – i have to remember that!”

and i wouldn’t. at least most of the time. maybe twenty percent of those actually made it on here.

then came the realization that i had a notepad feature on my phone – all of a sudden it was a different world (it should be noted that for a brief time before i realized this i would either email myself ideas or text them to myself). i had a “go to file” for making this shit happen, and i couldn’t be happier…

…until i read shit like this:

malik texts o’ plenty

you know what that means? yeah, neither the fuck do i!

i looked it up, and all i can find is notes on some guy from the boy band “one direction”, and i know i never texted him and he never texted me, plus i’d like to think if we WERE close enough to text i wouldn’t call him by his last name “malik” as i tend to only do that for people that have my first name (sean) so i don’t feel like one of those sports idiots who refers to himself in the third person…

…so, yeah – that was supposed to be today’s topic, but instead i went “seinfeldian” and did a bit about nothing.

yep, there we are.

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