if you’re skinny, racist, and shit in bed i’ve found your ideal dude!

i guess we all know what we want…

…and i guess if you really wanna make sure you get it you have to just put it out there – which this guy did. so, on the upside, it’s out there. no way to misinterpret. that being said, maybe you don’t need to be THIS fucking honest.

the ufc and i leave on our first family vacation today to head down to kramer’s beach crib. we’ll hit eleven months in a couple weeks, and while i hate to jinx myself, this seems like this is “it” – meant in all the best ways. we met on an internet dating site, which i never would have figured would lead to anything permanent, but it appears to have done so.

pretty fuckin’ awesome.

so far be it from me to shit on somebody who looks for love online, but this throws me off a bit (and it’s pretty funny it made the huffington post and a friend (and former co-worker at my current gig) posted this ’cause he knows this guy. he’s a wedding photographer named larry, and he wants a girl – he’s willing to pay you $1,500.00 if you can find her for him. he’s pushing forty, and he wants his girl to be a buck thirty OR LESS, of hispanic or white descent.

not a tall order. but wait…

i will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. i do not want a promiscuous slut, i want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend

so, what’s a “large number” out of curiosity? considering he’s asking for a girl that fits in a two decade range of age (21-41) i guess what constitutes “large” is in proportion to how long she’s been around? like over five for twenty-one and over ten for forty-one? i guess? hell, i’ll let my female readers hit the comments section on that one.

and in case you need a nice, clean cut white boy to take to your next kkk function:

i will not date a black girl. i don’t care if she looks like halle berry, i will never date a black girl…

not even halle berry? that’s severely fucked up – i don’t know anybody that would kick halle out of bed! i’d like to add the former co-worker that knows this guy IS black, but tends to not DATE black, which i throw in because…

…and i do not believe that whites & blacks should mix races sexually and have kids together. i think it’s okay for whites & hispanics (hear that ufc? we’re cool!) but not blacks. i would never, ever, EVER date a woman if i found out she had EVER been sexually active with a black man…

i just don’t know how this sumbitch hasn’t been snatched up. are you skinny? sexually unadventurous? stockpiling for the coming race war apocalypse? than head on over to sleepless in austin (his website – ain’t that cute?) and get you some! oddly enough since the huffpost article hit the server’s been having some issues…