sometimes you just want a second opinion…or even a third

keeping with my tattoo theme on the sixers for a while, i saw an article that caught my attention…

…seven places a woman should never get a tattoo.

i know women can do anything men can, and while a man COULD do most of these (save for the parts we don’t have) that doesn’t make it any more right if we do it or y’all do it. as luck would have it, their seven “places” were actually six, because one of them was “your man’s name” as in a tattoo no-no, which while i agree with it that’s not a “place”. so i picked six, the article picked six, and as shane is a fan of the female ink (as am i, but can honestly take it or leave it) i asked him as well. so, we’ll knock out the more common “match ups” first and then start wading through the different ones. by them i’ll put either a “h” for “hello beautiful”, the website i saw the article on (don’t ask), or “s” for shane or “m” for myself. make sense? let’s do this thing…

six places women need not ink

boobs (h,s,m) – this one we all agreed on. ladies, boobs are wonderful as they are. i don’t mind nipple rings (this isn’t about our opinion on those, but i’m sure shane will chime in on the comments section) and we both have no problem with you going under the knife to boost/grow/firm the girls up if you so choose (reductions, however, are a sin against both God AND man in my opinion) but tattoos? they look so sexy elsewhere – leave the girls be. promise they’ll still get plenty of attention all on their own…

“tramp stamp” (i.e. lower back) (h,s) – this one made both the web article AND shane’s list, but i disagreed. on some women i still find this sexy, cliche as it might be. the website probably summed it up for both them AND shane: “It’s not cute anymore, get over it. If I had a dollar for every tramp stamp out there I’d be a millionaire. If I had a dollar for every tramp stamp regretted I’d be a billionaire.” again, i still think it can look sexy on the right woman, but that’s me.

face (h,s,m) – we all were on board for this one as well. if you’re pretty, it won’t accentuate it. if you’re ugly, it won’t fix it. it WILL guarantee we always have to pay for dinner or drinks ’cause your ass will not get a good job with good pay with stars running down your cheeks unless you strip, do porn, or work in a tattoo shop. guaranteed.

neck (h,s,m) – this one all made our list, but in different ways. the website just said “neck”, but i disagreed. i think the back of the neck, if it’s small and feminine and cute looks nice. even large and feminine and cute can work depending on the girl. side of neck? not so much. that’s usually where the baby daddy name goes. SO not a fan of that side of neck shit…looks ghetto as hell, plus see the aforementioned “everlasting jobstopper” comment. shane specified “back of the neck” but i disagree…to each their own, but i find side of neck WAY worse than the back. again, look for shane’s comment on this, which i welcome since he kinda co-wrote this bit and all.

vuh-jay-jay (s,m) – as the website is geared towards women, i can see why this maybe didn’t make their list…and i don’t think shane and i were actually talking ON the vulva or anything, but just the neighborhood, as it were. again, should be fine just the way the good lord split ‘ya…

i know that’s only five but at this points our lists break down to just ones for each of us, so i figure we’ll make the odd ones as a final “mega number six”, as it were. here are the remainders:

hello beautiful leftovers: thigh and ass. first for it “ruining a class moment when you’re wearing a dress or gown”. i disagree – i think it adds an element of “bad ass” to a formal occasion. their excuse for ass was equally asinine – on a cute ass it’s a cute tough…provided it’s done right.

shane leftovers – five of his six made the list, with only “hands” leftover. if it’s ALL she’s got, i’d agree with him…but if she has sleeves of ink already, i think it works – plus “the hands don’t lie” adage of being able to tell how old a woman REALLY is is shot to shit if there’s a tibetan demon on them! it should also be noted he said that he amended the “face, hands, and vag” to be okay if the girl and the ink look good (i’d like to add my two cents that if the ink looks bad than NO spot works on a man OR woman) and then added that stomach and ass were bad calls if children were in the future due to stretching. i think he, like i, started to over think this…

my leftovers – like the website, i head two of my own that didn’t make the cut on the my own website list…how fucked up is that? or how well does that show i play fair? i wrote mine PRIOR to texting shane for his and without the website in front of me so i wouldn’t be biased in either directions or alter mine with the “whoa, i didn’t think of that” factor. my two were ankles (i always find that tacky and consider a lone ankle tattoo the “stripper” one over “tramp stamp”) and then fingers never hold up so i just find it pointless, again unless the girl has full sleeves AND hands in which case i guess it’s just a logical progression.

and there we are…