love, lust, and fucking? a “wtf – hell, you tell me…” kinda sixer

i’m irish, er go i drink…

…mostly on my days off.

problem is, that’s also when i write. back in the day i used to come up with these amazing whore bit ideas and say them to kramer…”write that down”, he’d say. “i’ll remember it”, i’d reply. sometimes i would, most of the time i wouldn’t.

so i started writing it down.

problem is, sometimes i’m writing ’em down while under the influence…and sometimes while under the influence AND doing other shit (driving, hanging with folk, etc) and so sometimes my notes don’t even make sense to me…

…this is one of those times.

i can tell this was supposed to be a sixer…best guess i have is that it was some kind of analogy or metaphor or something relating the stages of a physical relationship to something else. what that “something else is” i have no idea. here are the six things that were saved in an untitled file on my phone:

1. hug
2. kiss
3. handy (i.e. “hand job”)
4. oral
5. fucking
6. really nasty fucking

admittedly some of these are a bit out of order – the first two i think are fairly universal, but i’ve had entire relationships where i got laid plenty but never got a hand-job. i’ve had even more relationships where there was lots of fucking, the occasional hand job, and no oral (in the ladies defense since i AM metallically enhanced down there she might have just been afraid of chipping a tooth) and then i, as we all if you live right, have had the ones that just skip to “really nasty fucking” without oral, handy, kissing, or hugging…sometimes without names bejing exchanged.

but i’m probably admitting too much on that last part.

so, anybody have any ideas here? again, this is being written a few weeks in advance so if i can come up with it in the interim i’ll ammend this…and i know i said “no more reader’s polls” since none of y’all really participate anyway, but i’m baffled by this one so i figured i’d share my baffleness…

…and yes, spell check, i know “baffleness” isn’t really a word.