six, seven, eight, nine…and i’m FINALLY feelin’ fine

this shows how my idle mind does shit…

…i drive a lot at night on the weekends. late night runs home from the shop, top down, music pumping, stars above my head – and i came up with a sixer idea called “the seven hundred club” (after the religious program that caused me to change gyms, actually) to signify the fact that it had been seven hundred days since i left (for good?) corporate america…

…problem was seven hundred days is LESS than two years – and it’s been more than two years.

two years, at three-hundred and sixty-five days per year totals out (365+365 = 730) to seven hundred and thirty, which would have been back on january 31st. factor in all the days if february and march (twenty-eight and thirty-one, respectively) and you end up with 730+28 = 758. then you add in the thirty-one days in march and 758+31 = 789.

the problem was, on the day i hit 7-8-9 (april 1st) i had all the car drama, but as that appears to FINALLY be cool (in the literal and figurative sense of the word) i think we’re good on the bit for today.

so now that you where the “…seven, eight, nine” in the title came from, it’s time to point out the six is from:

six things i DON’T miss about corporate america
(and admittedly these could all be summed up with two words: “the bullshit”)

1. the dress code – skate shoes, cargo shorts, and shirts that say “fuck” on them to work? don’t mind if i do!

2. the HR department – so, a co-worker comments on her knees hurting. i reply with, “well, i guess you have to make that extra money somehow…”. she admits i’m partially right (spare you the details). try THAT around the water cooler tomorrow!

3. the customers – some of them were okay, but the bulk were just annoying and whiny. here they whine, but in their defense we ARE sticking needles in them at a rate of over a thousand stabs per minute…that’ll get a whine out of most folks.

4. the drive – in a way, i do more miles as i run between five shops for a couple of the days…but for three of ’em it’s a straight thirty to forty-five minute drive. compared to that hour MINIMUM i had before (and the FML level of the job) i actually ENJOY my commute now!

5. living outside the box – i hate all “outside the box” references, particularly when it comes to thinking. congratulating me for “thinking outside the box” implies that typically my knowledge, imagination, and wit are contained in a small cubicle…my ass was, not my mind. fortunately they never got that…and never will.

(wow – that one almost sounded deep)

and finally…

6. the bullshit – i just HAD to, and i realize this is kinda all-encompassing and everything, but it just covers SO much without me making this a 4,976,321er versus a 6er, ya know? there’s just so much about that life and that world i DON’T miss that i don’t know if i could ever go back…