tuesday two piece and a biscuit

“i was just trying to thank you for serving our country and saving our freedoms – no need to be an asshole about it!”

…that was earlier today.
never mind my typical diatribe about how there IS no freedom being saved in middle east, with the exception of the freedom for american corporations to make shit-tons of money off the blood of the lower class who are, inevitably, the ones to sign up for military service these days. NOT the point. let’s instead, recap the conversation in the aisle of HEB after i grabbed milk and before i grabbed rotisserie chicken between me and what appeared to be a sweet old lady:

excuse me sir, are you a veteran?
no – i just happen to be wearing digi-camo shorts and have really short hair…

(now, my response WAS meant in all sincerity – i’ve never done military service, and never WILL do military service, so technically i am NOT a veteran – and i did just happen to be wearing cargo shorts made out of standard issue army digi-camo and i DO just happen to have really short hair. it was all MEANT to be very matter-of-fact and just pointing out that it was odd coincidence that i look the way i do and happen to be wearing what i was wearing…the problem is the delivery, which out of my mouth sounds incredibly sarcastic, even though i don’t mean for it to, hence her response – which to remind you was…)

i was just trying to thank you for serving our country and saving our freedoms – no need to be an asshole about it!

that was the first piece – second is just as brief, which is why you get a tuesday twofer…

…if you have a HOA in your neighborhood, get them to limit the halloween decorations unless they’re done REALLY well. i know that the supreme court says they have to way to dispute what is, and is not, in good taste – but neighborhoods can do things the court can’t, like keep minorities out unless they’re toting leaf blowers of vacuum cleaners (which i don’t support, i’m just sayin’…). i wish we could ’cause my neighbor keeps adding to their “porch of horror” and they’re doing it all wrong…first they had motion sensitive “scary things”, but THEN added themed wind chimes in front of that, so when the breeze blows so to the little ghosts which then activate the motion-sensors. THEN they added lights, which attract moths, which then ALSO activate the sensors, causing them to fly off through the clanky wind things…and so on, and so on.

just annoying.

so, if you have an HOA see if you can keep that out of your neighborhood – i’m not so lucky. if it was cool, neat looking house of horror style shit that would be one thing, but i think this is all the crap that made it to clearance LAST year at sam’s club or wal-mart, and now i get to see it again without the red tags…

…i liked it better with the red tags. and now, to wrap up, a biscuit: