speak english or don’t

i was gonna keep quiet about this…

…but since when do i keep quiet about…well…anything?

i recently witnessed a debate (via facebook) about the whole “spanish in texas” thing. at the heart of it was a girl who got a press release from the white house (she edits a local paper) coincidentally while the president was in austin; but the release was in spanish – “with no english translation included”.

i have an issue just with just that last phrase (which is in quotes as it was exactly how she phrased it on facebook). from where i sit the release SHOULD be in english, with a spanish translation thrown in for good measure. at least to her paper. if it was going to the editor of “el norte” (spanish language newspaper in texas) than her phrasing would be correct.

i break it down like this…if i walked into a bar in zacatecas, mexico, and asked what kind of whiskey they had i’d probably be greeted with the word “que?” (spanish for “what?” for my overly-caucasian readers).

this should not offend me. you know why? because i’m two hundred miles INSIDE the country of MEXICO where they speak fucking spanish.

likewise, when you’re two hundred miles inside the country of the united states, where we speak fucking english, you shouldn’t be upset we expect it of you.

the argument was made that 39% of texans are bilingual. i can see that. first off, “BI-lingual” means, by definition, they speak TWO languages. given the fact they’re on american soil i would hope one of the two is english. if not, fuck em – you don’t owe them shit. 39% is not a majority, and while 61% of texas doesn’t speak spanish i guarantee the percentage is a bit higher on a national level and, much as we like to pretend we’re not, texas IS still a PART of a larger country…at least until we exercise our right to secede.

now don’t take offense my fine latinas and latinos. i’m not saying if you don’t speak english you don’t have rights in this country. FAR from the truth. the statue of liberty has inscribed on its base: “give me your tired, your hungry, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” and while there IS actually more to the inscription, it does NOT include the phrase “…but make sure they speak english” – it does, however, have that inscription only printed in one language.

i’ll let you guess which one. and even though the statue WAS made in france, it ain’t in french – ’cause they knew what country it would be located in.

a person with one leg has the RIGHT to run a marathon, but it’s gonna be a challenge.

a blind person has the RIGHT to go see avatar in digital 3D, but they won’t get as much out of it as you or me.

and a deaf person has the RIGHT to drop three hundred bucks on an iPod and fill it with music – but they won’t enjoy it as much as i do.

likewise, you have the RIGHT to be in this country…but you’re limiting yourself by your choice of living in an english-speaking (whether you like it or not) country and not speaking the language. that’s why, despite all the protesting, the US citizenship test is still only given in ONE language. and if i ever had to take a test to be a citizen of mexico i’d expect the test to be in ONE language…and it wouldn’t be english.

all that being said, in today’s economy any leg up you can get is a good thing, and being bilingual is a leg up. so for all you fellow texans that want to increase your marketability in today’s job market learning spanish might not be a bad call…

…but if you want to think about things on a more global scale you should learn chinese. they’re buying up things a lot faster than mexico is, and then all you white people can finally know what your tattoos actually mean in addition to being able to say “nice tie, boss” in his native tongue.