why i’d be a bad parent to a small child, part XIII

i’ve heard it from SO many of my friends with kids…

…i love MY kid, but i HATE kids!

can you have it both ways?

most would argue you can – because the maternal/paternal bond makes it to where your tolerance levels are higher than they would be with the average child…i.e., you’ll put up with shit from YOUR kid that you’d backhand another child for. genetics = tolerance level increase, as it were.

here’s where it doesn’t fit me: i couldn’t make it through a fifteen minute side of a cassette that contained a kid’s voice on it…and while i’ll grant you the kid on it WASN’T my kid (as i don’t have any) it should have had more of a bond with me, since it was ACTUALLY me on the tape.

but i couldn’t make it through a whole fifteen minute side – both annoying AND boring, which i giggled at when i decided that’s what the “A” and “B” on either side of the tape stood for.

(and i’m one seriously egotistical son of a bitch when it comes to the sound of my own voice – why the fuck do you think i talk so much? hell, most of you have listened to me ramble on so often that as you read this it’s MY voice in your head you here saying what you read…spooky, huh?)

so, um, yeah…can’t even take a recording of myself as a child. good thing i never tried to actually raise one up, huh?

now y’all know why i never volunteer to babysit and shit…