call 1-800-BTR-CHRN now!

i know i bring up how crappy the economy is WAY too often…

…sue me (get in line if you want to do that literally) but when you’re staring down the barrel of a foreclosure if you’re not careful and you’re unemployed for almost a year despite dozens of resumes going out EVERY FUCKING WEEK you tend to feel like you’re a little more in touch with this shit then, say, your average cnn talking head.

i’m just sayin’.

my latest proof? two words that fit together like “jumbo shrimp” or “gourmet grilled cheese” (what do you want? i’m hungry!)

amish infomercials

don’t get me wrong – the 21st century amish kid has a cell phone and knows a bit more about the world then we’d give them credit for. i learned this from a client at dell who runs a water park smack dab in the middle of the amish section of pennsylvania (no bullshit) and they employ amish teenagers to work there…

…but back to what i saw on tv.

the other day i woke up at four in the morning, couldn’t sleep, so i went to the gym around five or so. i was half way through my leg workout when i saw it – the neat white shirt, the hat, the lincoln beard…it was an amish guy…on an infomercial. what are the other signs the apocalypse is nigh?

it was for those heaters – you know the ones. they’ve had commercials for the last couple of years – they run, like, three bills a piece and are esentually a portable electric fireplace (referred to as a “hearth” – i guess so the amish can keep it real or whatever?). the short-form commercial explains how the wood cabinets are built with “old world amish craftsmanship” and you see them working diligently in the background, and then they explain how AFTER they build the cabinets they shove the electric heating components (i.e. “tools of satan”, from the point of view of the cabinet makers, i’d imagine). the truly laughable part? the short-form commercial ends with the amish riding off in a horse and buggy with two heaters in the back to help illustrate the narrators point that there are only TWO allowed per household…

…but where are they supposed to plug ’em in?

so the crippled economic downturn has even hurt the amish to the point of them having to hawk their wares on television…and these are people that historically haven’t even entered the age of telegraph communication yet. hey, at least can only go up from here, right?