only in america!

sadly, don king said it best…

…”only in america”. as in “only in america can we have a disease outbreak and bicker about the name”.

the makers of “the other white meat” are upset that “swine flu” is called “swine flu” because they say it’s bad for business. all we need to clear their name is a jew or muslim to come down with it, and they can say, “see, we told you…” but i doubt that will happen. ya know why?

this is more media hype then pandemic (which is a realy word, by the way)

if you’re feeling sick and achy and sore and think you might have the swine flu, let me save you a co-pay (or in the case of MY people, the unemployed people, a full pay) – you don’t have the swine flu. just because you saw it on tv doesn’t mean you HAVE to have it. it’s not an ad or an infomercial. and it all started in mexico. mexico also has a lot of unemployment and a shitty economy – you don’t see THAT catching on up here, do you?

okay, maybe you should ignore that last statement. let’s move on.

you might have the real flu, but the swine flu? doubtful as shit. allow me to break it down for you…

…at the time i’m writing this (friday, may 1st, 9:48am) there are less than ten confirmed cases of the swine flu in all of texas. ALL of texas. that’s a land mass larger than the country of france. if eight frenchmen got sick the whole country wouldn’t panic, so why do we? because the news tells us to. by masks, and duct tape and plastic sheeting, and bottled water, and canned food, and shotguns. i would guesstimate easily a hundred people, between the various scratch-offs and other contests, win money from the texas lottery every week. easily ten times as many as there are swine flu folks. when’s the last time you won a scratch-off? exactly…let it go.

remember the bird flu (and no chicken or turkey farmers bitched at the name, i might add) or SARS? what ever happened to those great plagues that were going to kill us all? yeah, that’s what i thought you said. hell, even AIDS, the great killer for a decade and some change, isn’t that great a killer anymore. seen magic johnson lately? he looks better than he did when he was playing ball!

take two aspirin, flip from cnn to comedy central, and call me in the morning…just not TOO early.