the dog in me

i have some critters in the attic i need to deal with…

…but i want to start with bigger prey first.

(some of you might want to just stop reading now, okay? read the word after this sentence, and if you go further, don’t bitch, ’cause i warned you…)


(not the musical)

there is one in particular who seems to find out how to wake up and alarm my dogs at around three in the morning. i know, ’cause i hear them bark, and then i hear a cat yowl. i got it yesterday pretty good with a super soaker.

and i was the least of it’s worries.

i was watching tv in the back of the house when i heard lucky (the youngest pitbull) growling. i look outside and see a cat…across the street in the neighbors yard. but i notice a bird dive bombing it from a basketball goal. when the cat took off across the yard, the bird followed – from tree, to flagpole, to tree in my yard as he crossed the street – swooping and clawing at the cat the whole way.

darwinism in reverse? death from above? ALL of the above?

anyway, getting up in my yard in broad daylight was a bit much – the little annoying fucker already gets on the roof of my car in the middle of the night and leaves fur on the soft top, but in the middle of the afternoon? bird kamikaze or no bird kamikaze that was too much – so i grabbed the super soaker. cats don’t like getting really wet when their back is turned – and it didn’t help that when it took off running the bird used that as a chance to really swoop down and wail on the fucker.

that was cool.

i don’t like pet birds – they creep me out. but a wild one that helps get a cat out of my yard (and the two of us tag-teamed the little shit for three houses before i bailed; the bird kept going for i don’t know how long after) is cool with me.

i think this must be a family thing.

i can remember sitting out on my grandfather’s porch and watching him shoot cats with a bb gun. he didn’t just have the book “101 things to do with a dead cat” – he had two volumes of it. i don’t hate cats THAT much – i can be civil to them, provided either they’re NOT living with me, or i really like their owners. other than that, it’s target practice time.

sue me.

(i shouldn’t say that – one neighbor almost did)

but i figure if they come up on your property, what happens to them is nobody’s business but yours. a thousand korean restaurants can’t be wrong, can they?

so, would a bowl of meow mix and rat poison on the front porch be cruel?

here, kitty, kitty…

0 comments… add one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *