tropical mountain spice berry

i think i might be getting overly domesticated…

…when you get in my car, it smells like a mountain breeze. or so the claim goes. i’ve been in the mountains. i’ve smelled the breeze. it smells nothing like the little vial of goop clipped to the air vent of my car. but according to the glade folk, that is what a mountain breeze smells like.

what mountain did they go to that this blew at them?

my theory is that they went up a mountain only part way, and didn’t realize that someone FURTHER up the mountain had some smell issues and sprayed air freshener – and they smelled that and the scent was born. you never know – i could be right here.

regardless…

my car should not smell like “mountain breeze”. or “country spice” or any of that other crap. my car should smell like…(drum roll)…a CAR. even the ones labeled “new car” don’t smell like any new car i’ve ever been in. they can’t even duplicate the smell of a CAR for a car? what makes them think they can nail a “spring meadow” or whatever?

and then there’s the house…

while the dog smell is not cool, i don’t know how i feel about “cucumber melon” or whatever floats through that room now. is it impossible to have somewhat manly air fresheners? can’t my den smell like cigars and strippers? is that too much to ask? apparently so. you could even make it sound more like an air freshener scent – who needs “spring meadow” when you can have “cohiba and candy”? (as in the cigar and the stripper) where’s the problem? i bet it markets well.

and back to the car, why can’t we have something a little more butch there? like a “new car” one that actually smells like a new car? or one that’s called “leather” that makes it smell like a freshly detailed leather interior, even though you have cloth? or the ultimate – “new electronic gadget” – what guy doesn’t get happy with that smell?

i tell you – glade needs to hire me to start up a guy line. i think there’s an untapped market here.