ouch! the floor!

so, today i got a bit of bad news…

i DIDN’T get the job at the comedy club i was up for. not enough (read: NONE) restaurant & bar experience. at least not in an employment sense. plenty of experience as a patron of both (particularly the latter these days). but no employment history there. so, the hunt is on again.

last night i had a dream (no, not that kind) and eddie (as in griffin) was in it (now you see why i made the “not that…” comment so early.) but he wasn’t live. he was on a wall of televisions. and he wasn’t saying anything we’d discussed in person. it was a brief clip from one of his hbo specials, running over and over again. just the same line, which in context, was about being in a window seat of an airplane as it nose dived. the line?

“ground coming up…quicker than a motherfucker…”

which made me wonder; am i bottoming out here? in the past, when i’ve had the forced job search thang going, i had some kinda of substantial finance back up working. had a big chunk o’ change in the bank. or a part-time job that could become full-time easily. or both. now i have neither. and resume after resume is getting no return calls. no es bueno.

but why no returns? why no calls? my six pack of reasons…

1. i’m too witty honestly…who would hire someone who’s gonna be more liked and revered by the staff than the boss, right?

2. i’m too good looking i mean, you might have been having your way with the hot, fresh-outta-college blonde girl BEFORE you hire me, but once i’m there? who’s she gonna choose?

3. i’m too bright nobody likes to look stupid. especially if it’s taken in the literal sense. and compared to me, who doesn’t?

4. i’m too experienced with my wide range of experience, education, and natural abilities, i am the poster boy for “over qualified”…

5. i’ve got too good a work ethic i am so about being the model employee, there are no words. i make even bosses look bad. how can you “lead by example” after all that?

6. i’m just too fucking good meant in the general sense. just to cover my bases…

now, do i believe any of this shit i just listed? in a word,

FUCK NO!!!

okay, so that was two words. maybe it’s these little detail things i miss that are causing my unemployment to stretch into this, it’s second week. (i don’t count the two weeks prior since i wasn’t even looking but was instead doing the promo work for ed’s stuff for the most part). or maybe just ’cause the job market in austin sucks. all i know is, i’m kinda spooked ’cause this time of year was when i was looking last time, and it took until MARCH. and i didn’t have a house payment looming over me then. so, i’m kinda scared. think hopeful thoughts. or just give me money. or both. both would be best…

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