zoo keeper

i can’t do it. lord knows i tried, but i can’t do it. i wanna be like my friends. i wanna give into peer pressure on this one, but i just can’t. it’s just TOO fucking stupid. the sad thing is it’s not something that would be bad for me per se, but i still can’t do it. it’s not drinking. lord knows i can hang with (and bury some) of my friends on that. not drugs. i don’t do drugs. i might smoke weed, but i don’t do drugs. not smoking, either…i HATE cigarettes, and do the cigar thing constantly. and it’s not some sexual deviant stuff, either. they all know i beat them on that scale, too…and most of them would prefer not to think about that one…

(see how many of them agree in the comments section later)

nope, this one can’t kill your lungs or liver. can’t put your life in danger OR make your nether regions look funny. this one is pretty much harmless, all my friends like it, or at least most of them…some of the biggies on the list. i guess the one down side is it COULD kill brain cells if you’re exposed to it for too prolonged a time. the vice i speak of?

zoolander

josh likes it. jim and katy like it. i think there’s a few more on that list, too. and i have all the right qualifications to like it, and i just can’t get into it. when all the naked gun series came out, and the hot shot flicks, jim and i were there opening night, laughing our asses off. same with dumb and dumber. and loaded weapon. now i watch them, and nothing. it does NOTHING for me.

i don’t get it…

i like owen wilson. funny guy (and fellow texan). dug both the shanghai movies with jackie chan. like ben stiller. good in something about mary and meet the parents (which also had wilson, actually). dig all kinds of comedy that’s far from intellectual…raising arizona, harlem nights, joe dirt, and most of the adam sandler stuff before he started to pussy out (although i did find parts of each of them a bit too stupid, even for me).

so what’s the deal?

am i growing up? that can’t be it. it just CAN’T be. maybe getting too stupid to appreciate even stupid comedy? doubt that…i’m a fairly bright guy. maybe that’s it…am i becoming an intellectual snob about what makes me laugh? find that hard to believe…hell, i even still find kramer amusing, and that’s not exactly a mensa level of humor. so, what is my fucking problem? about the comedy movies, i mean…NOT meant as a general question. that could take YEARS to decipher and list. any suggestions?

Replies: 7 Comments

that was actually one of the i.q. questions a porn star had to answer to avoid having to get her head flushed down howard stern’s toilet last week…and she missed it, too. guess i got off light, here…

sean said @ 03/09/2003 10:42 PM CST

Since we’re nitpicking about spelling, you consistently spell forty “fourty” which is incorrect, although arguably logical. I will resist the urge, as I have, to nitpick further.

Dentist to the Popes said @ 03/09/2003 06:30 PM CST

pope harold-

as a close friend, a gifted artist, and a pope of the highest quality, not to mention the only person i have encouraged to permanently put ink in me AND a couple of the people i love, let’s browse the pic of the one on my right arm and remember how to SPELL MY FUCKING NAME, okay?

sean said @ 03/09/2003 01:36 PM CST

Oh dear shaun, As the Pope, I feel the need to express to you that all of your qualifications to enjoy this movie are there, unfortunately you really need to COMBINE those in order to find humor in this film. I perscribe a good cigar, a series of quick shots of your choice, and a good spliff ( at the end of which you start the film, so as to give the booze time to work) Everyone I know who has tried this has finally, finally been able to laugh at this flick.

Harold said @ 03/08/2003 10:20 PM CST

Maybe you were at the wrong elevation.

Damn. That link was disturbing! I mean, all those Sesame Street characters…..that’s just wrong!

Da Goddess said @ 03/08/2003 03:08 AM CST

they’re still still funny as shit, maybe you were just tired.

transamdan said @ 03/08/2003 12:00 AM CST

i wouldn’t say that “raising arizona” is an un-intellectual comedy. there’s a lot of big vocabulary words in it. Also, H.I. waxes philosophical quite a bit. so yeah. not a “dumb” comedy.