bart simpson…

…would be so proud.

Replies: 9 Comments

damn right, Rev. Teeth…in fact, pre-clergy i believe you even sold me a shirt that said so. but in the spirit of the holidays, have a merry xxxmas

sean (when will the madness end?) said @ 12/17/2002 11:40 PM CST

That’s Rev. Dr. to you … sinner.

Dr. Teeth said @ 12/17/2002 11:00 PM CST

i’m certain my shorts could induce hallucinations

harold said @ 12/17/2002 10:40 PM CST

that’s it dr. falkenteeth, you are SO cut off!!!

*yells to bartender*

“NO MORE FOR THIS GUY!!!!”

you do realize between the two of us the comments section is now over 123,000% the size of the damn text on this piece, right?

sean (ENOUGH!!!) said @ 12/17/2002 09:58 PM CST

Well, I typed all this crap not realizing I had said “I’d rather be without my license for a couple of years” when I meant to say couple of months. If you have a clean record, it’s 180 days automatic. If you don’t have a clean record then you’re screwed. There is some relevant statutory stuff below if you care (including how an incapacitated person consents to a search for this stuff – the way I understand it, he/she can’t consent, but they can search you (breath/blood) as long as the right person does it.

I’m not a lawyer (yet) and none of this posting should be construed as legal advice. Common sense:
1. Don’t drive drunk.
2. Don’t break two laws at one time (ie, driving drunk with a busted tail light)
3. If you do get busted for this stuff, suck it up and pay for a lawyer, especially if some small town cop is the one who pulled you over.

Here’s some of the relevant statute.

TX TRANSPORTATION CODE 724.035 states, (a)If a person refuses the request of a peace officer to submit to the taking of a specimen, the department shall: (1) suspend the person’s license to operate a motor vehicle on a public highway for 180 days; or (2) if the person is a resident without a license, issue an order denying the issuance of a license to the person for 180 days. (b) The period of suspension or denial is two years if the person’s driving record shows one or more alcohol-related or drug-related enforcement contacts, as defined by Section 524.001(3)*, during the last 10 year preceding the date of the person’s arrest. (c) A suspension or denial takes effect on the 40th day after the date on which the person” … receives notice or is considered to have received notice.

For the passed out or dead:
TX Transportation Code 724.114 Person Incapable of Refusal. (a) A person who is dead, unconscious, or otherwise incapable of refusal is considered not to have withdrawn the consent provided by Section 724.011. (b) If the person is dead, a specimen may be taken by: (1) the county medical examiner or the examiner’s designated agent; or (2) a licensed mortician or a person authorized under 724.016 or 724.017 if there is not a county medical examiner for the county. (c) If the person is alive but is incapable of refusal, a specimen may be taken by a person authorized under Section 724.016 or 724.017. [for a breathylizer its gotta be someone possessing a certificate isued by the dept saying the person is qualified to perform the analysis (I guess most cops would have those certificates) and for a blood spec, its gotta be a physician, qualified technician, chemist, registered professional nurse, or licensed vocational nurse. It’s gotta be taken in a sanitary place, and qualified technicians do not include emergency services personel.

If you wanna read the stuff yourselves:
http://www.capitol.state.tx.us/statutes/statutes.html
The Penal Code and the Transportation Statutes make for the best leisure reading.

*Alcohol or drug related contact means a DL suspension, disqualification, or prohibition order under TX law or the law of another state resulting from: conviction of an offense prohibiting operation of motor vehicle while: intoxicated, under the influence of alcohol, or under the influence of a controlled substance. A refusal to submit to the taking of a breath or blood specimen following arrest for an offense prohibiting the operation of a motor vehicle while … Theres a couple more things, but I typed enough statute for today.

Dr. Teeth said @ 12/17/2002 04:18 AM CST

i dunno…i couldn’t do without my license for two years, but that’s me. but if you’re unconcious when they get to you, i’ve heard (with rare exceptions, although i do know one personally) that they CAN’T use it as admissable evidence…true?

sean (this is getting good) said @ 12/17/2002 02:56 AM CST

He was drunk pre crotch snack or he wouldn’t have ripped the crotch out of his shorts and ate it to “absorb alcohol.”

Why do people submit to a breathalyzer when they’ve been drinking and are drunk? I’d rather be without my license for a couple of years than have to explain a DW/UI for the rest of my life.

Dr. Teeth said @ 12/17/2002 01:22 AM CST

no, he wasn’t drunk. he only blew a .08, so he was released. better than what a lot of other people i know have blown when they’ve been drinking…but never mind that now.

sean (council for the defense) said @ 12/17/2002 12:21 PM CST

Hey, he beat the rap, although one would think there would be other more preferable garments to rip up and eat. Maybe he was drunk.

Dr. Teeth said @ 12/17/2002 09:40 AM CST