reason # 1,689 why i WILL go to hell

09/19/2002: “reason # 1,689 why i WILL go to hell”

it was wednesday at lunch. i was working all by my lonesome out of our downtown office when it happened. i had gone to lunch at schlotzsky’s deli on 6th and congress when an old feeling from my teenage years came back…the feeling of a rubber tire rubbing the back of my calf…just like the old bmx days, ya know? even came with the “sorry, bro…” apology. i turned to say it was okay, and it was a guy in a wheel chair.

no big deal. until i looked up.

there were TEN of them.

yep…TEN. in all colors, and ages, and shapes (the chairs AND their occupants, i mean). they swarmed into the joint like a group of bandito’s into a rural town’s sirloin stockade. all of a sudden, there was a rolling line of five at each register, and that took up the ENTIRE lobby area where you order. i don’t know why i found this odd, but i did. they were like a gang. “o.c.” – the ORIGINAL crips. i am SO going to hell for that one, aren’t i?

they were organized, too. two of them handed off their orders and went to prep the chow zone…rolling around with that electric hum, circling the dining area like motorized vultures as they shoved and bumped tables into tables to create one super-duper-handi-table.

the funniest look was from the samaritan kid that helped me. he had JUST rang me up, when the first one, who rolled in solo (i guess he was the “scout”) came up and asked if they had sandwiches. at schlotzsky’s. go figure. he then said he liked his COLD. “no problem”, the kid replied, and asked if he liked turkey. when he got a positive response, the kid went out from behind their counter to their deli case and retrieved one for him to save him the trip. “thanks”, the guy replied, paid, and gave this nod towards the door. THAT’S when it flew open and they all rolled in, most of them heading his way. an “oh shit” look crossed his face as he realized his courteous gesture would need to be repeated. a LOT.

i only wonder…if they ARE some sort of gang, what is their initiation like?

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