another time (i.e. the blondes, etc, etc)

i knew something was wrong when we pulled in the lot. it seemed busy. TOO busy. james and i NEVER have parking issues in the side lot of sugar’s (which is actually the back lot of one of the adjoining office buildings), but tonight we did. “what the fuck?”, i wondered out loud, as we walked up…”oh yeah, dude…” james said, “they’re having some dance contest tonight”.

hold on.

before you get some flashback to me talking about jody splashing milk and such across her jiggly DDs, this was a bit different. this one i had seen on the website. this one had a theme…

“over thirty”

now, before you start INSTANTLY shooting down to the comments section, understand that i LIKE some women over thirty. hell, i love women in general, and have met some damn near PERFECT ones that were over thirty. no issues there at all. and some of the women, from what i saw last night, are much like some of the no longer twenty-somethings i’ve gone out with…like a fine wine, they’ve gotten better with age.

but then there were the OTHER half of the contestants.

the ones that were heavy on the “OVER”, lighter on the “thirty”. like WAY past thirty. one of them i don’t think has seen thirty since 1930. scary, scary stuff. it was when THAT was on stage that james was off at the bar, meaning i had to deal with that SOBER. i think that is actually listed in webster’s dictionary as the third or fourth definition of “SUCK”. but all was on it’s way to getting better soon there after.

proudly, i almost kinda sorta stayed on budget…with the exception of the nacho round i bought, but that was just NEEDED. and once the contestants, and their husbands, kids, co-workers, and one SERIOUSLY scary table of lesbian supporters all headed out, there was actually places we could sit.

highlight of the night? well, two barbie-looking girls got on the stage and danced together. i told james i just NEEDED them to BOTH come grind on me for a sec, if for no other reason then to get a good whore bit out of it. i sauntered up to the stage, and barbie I danced on over. once she got close, i saw she actually wasn’t quite as cute as i gave her credit for…but of course, still WAY do-able. “get your friend over here, too…”, i said. “we don’t really do that often”, she replied, which seemed to be true. then they were getting off stage and barbie III came on. barbie I and barbie II decided to join HER and now we had a VERY eye-pleasing threesome going. at the end of HER two songs, they start to leave, and the best of the bunch, barbie IV came out (proof that OCCASIONALLY the sequel can beat the original). TOO damn fine. and TOO many drinks. i headed for the head, but made it REALLY quick. i walk in back in to see a class reunion..barbie I, II, III, AND IV all together on stage. i instinctively start heading that way, as I & II head off separately to dance for some other guys, and reach in my pocket to find ONE dollar left. i dig it out, look at it like, “shit”, only to see IV gesturing for me to head her way. i walk up in front of her at the same time III walks up behind her. IV had crouched down, knees on either side of my chest, and III started to walk off. IV reached back behind her and held her in place by her calf, and bent over to rub the top of her head against a couple of my more “unmentionable” piercings. III took the hint, rubbed her tits across IV’s ass, then up her back, and finally up in my face as she straddled her. “we’ve wanted to double up on some big, muscular guy all night….thanks”, III purred in my ear before “unmounting” and walking off. IV dragged her rather ample (and artificial) “assets” across my face, and came eye to eye with me. “that was fun”, she said with a wink.

sugar, you said a mouthful. and showed me a couple mouthfuls to boot.

she pulled the thigh string of her thong out, and in went my last dollar. a nice kiss on my ear (and one returned back at her) and back to the table i went. i’ve always said you’ve done SOMETHING wrong if you leave a titty bar with any singles left on you. larger bills are all well and good. but if some singles are left, you did something WRONG.

there was NOTHING wrong about how MY last dollar went out. best dollar i’ve EVER spent.